Easter Jokes

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Chocolate comes from cocoa, which is a tree.
That makes it a plant.
Therefore, chocolate is salad.
Happy Easter!

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Why do we paint Easter eggs?
Because it's easier than trying to wallpaper them!

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Q: Once there was the tooth fairy, Santa Claus, Easter bunny, a smart blonde and a dumb blonde they were walking down the road when they saw a $100 dollars bill who gets it??
A: No one the first four doesn't exist and the other blonde thought it was a gum wrapper!

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Q: Why do only 20 percent of blonde chicks lay Easter eggs?
A: The rest are hunt'n peckers.

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How do you know the Easter Bunny is really smart?
Because he's an egghead.

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How does Jesus celebrate Easter?
He gets a manicure, pedicure, and has his nails polished.

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Little Johnny's father asks him if he knows about the birds and the bees.
"I don't want to know!" Little Johnny says, bursting into tears.
Confused, his father asks what's wrong.
"Oh, Dad," Little Johnny sobs, "first, there was no Santa Claus, then no Easter Bunny, and finally, no Tooth Fairy. If you're about to tell me that grownups don't really have sеx, I've got nothing left to believe in."

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What happened when the Easter Bunny met the rabbit of his dreams?
They lived hoppily ever after.

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A friend was in front of me coming out of church one day, and the preacher was standing at the door as he always is to shake hands.
He grabbed my friend by the hand and pulled him aside.
The Pastor said to him, "You need to join the Army of the Lord!"
My friend replied, "I'm already in the Army of the Lord, Pastor."
Pastor questioned, "How come I don't see you except at Christmas and Easter?"
He whispered back, "I'm in the secret service."

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Did you hear about the Easter egg hunt for the Alzheimer's patients?
They hid their own eggs!

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Q: What did the egg say to the boiling water?
A: "I don't think I can get hard - I just got laid this morning!"

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Q: What day does an Easter egg hate the most?
A: Fry-days.

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Q: How is the Easter Bunny like Michael Jordan? ´
A: They're both famous for stuffing baskets!

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Did you hear about the egg laden rabbit who jumps off bridges?
He's the Easter Bungee.

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Q: Why was the Easter Bunny so upset?
A: He was having a bad hare day!

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Jesus won't come back again.
Why?
Because he know you will кill him and see if he will wake up again.

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Q: What do you call a sleepy Easter egg?
A: Egg-zosted!

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What did the naughty rabbit leave for Easter?
Deviled eggs.

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