// - I'm a genie and will grant 3 wishes - what is your 1st?

- I'm a genie and will grant 3 wishes - what is your 1st?

- I want to be rich!
- What is your 2nd wish, Rich?

Broccoli: Hey, I look like a tree.

Mushroom: Wow, I look just like an umbrella.
Walnut: I look exactly like a brain.
Banana: Man, can we change the topic please?

At a disco:

He: “Wow, what’s a cute girl like you doing in a corner all alone?”
She: “I had to fart.”

My friend Robbie shocked and hurt me. He told me today that I make people very uncomfortable and have

no respect for personal space. I mean, what a thing to say to a friend? It totally ruined our bath!

Two teenagers, Fred and Joe, meet after school and Fred is all excited:

“Man I was at the most awesome party this weekend! We went to this dude’s house and guy had toilets made of pure gold!”
“No way!”
“Yes way,” insists Fred, “come with me and check it out for yourself if you don’t believe me.”
Twenty minutes later they’re ringing the doorbell at the place. A middle-aged lady opens and Fred eagerly asks her, “Hi! I’m sorry to bother you but there was a party at your house yesterday and my friend doesn’t believe that you have toilet bowls of pure gold!”
The lady looks at him for a moment and then yells into the inside of the house, “Roger, the pig that shit in your trombone is here!”

Two elephants meet a totally naked guy.

After a while one elephant says to the other: “I really don’t get how he can feed himself with that thing!”

He: “When I see a stupid face I have to laugh.”

She: “Doesn’t that make shaving yourself kind of difficult?”