I was standing at the train station this morning on my way to work, when I saw a little old lady trip over. As she laid there complaining about the pain in her hip and legs, some bloke came over...

I was standing at the train station this morning on my way to work, when I saw a little old lady trip over.
As she laid there complaining about the pain in her hip and legs, some bloke came over and said, “I’ll help you up.”
“Don’t touch her” I interrupted. “If you move her it could make the injuries worse, she needs to stay exactly where she is until the paramedics arrive.”
“That’s ridiculous” he replied.
I said, “I know what I’m doing pal, I’ve seen this kinda shiт on tv.”
So I dialled 999 and requested an ambulance.
5 minutes later I called them back and said, “Cancel that ambulance, she’s not in pain anymore.”
“She’s okay then?” asked the operator.
I said, “No, she’s dead. Hit by an express train.”

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