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Question: Why does Tigger smell?
Answer: You'd smell too if you played with Pooh all day!

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Three men were trekking through the desert and came across a magician standing at the top of a slide.
The magician said, ''You may each go down the slide and ask for a drink. When you reach the bottom of the slide, you shall land in a huge glass of that drink. The first man went down yelling, "Вееr!" He landed in a glass of вееr. The second man went down yelling, "Lemonade!" He landed in a glass of lemonade. The third guy man down the slide yelling, "Wee!"

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Gross Jokes Men jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes Beer Jokes

Q: Why don't witches wear undiеs?
A: To get a better grip on their brooms.

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Gross Jokes Dirty jokes

A man jumps off a building at the same time that another man рissеs.
Which hits the ground first? The рiss, because nobody beats the Wiz!

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Gross Jokes Men jokes

Little Red Riding Hood walks through the forest and sees a wolf hunched under a tree with its ears еrест and its mouth stretched in a big grimace.
She says to the wolf, "My, what big ears you have!"
The wolf keeps grimacing.
She says, "My, what big eyes you have!"
The wolf grimaces even wider, baring his teeth.
She says, "My, what big teeth you have!"
The wolf finally snaps and says, "F**k off! I'm trying to take a dump."

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One day there was a big lady swimming at the beach when she noticed that she had lost her top. She thought that no one would notice if she covered herself with her arms and walked overto her towel. Then a little girl came running up to her.
"If you're going to drown those puppies, at least let me have the one with the cute little pink nose."

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Gross Jokes Dirty jokes

A haggard old lady rides in a fancy hotel's elevator. On the second floor, a beautiful woman steps on and arrogantly says to the old lady, "Georgio, $100 an ounce."
On the next floor, an equally beautiful women steps on and says, "Chanel, $150 an ounce."
The old lady's floor approaches and as the doors open, she bends over, farts and says, "Broccoli, 49 cents a pound."

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Q: What's the similarity between a woman and dog роор?
A: The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.

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Jokes about Women Gross Jokes Old People Jokes Dog jokes

Q: Why do women pass less gas than men?
A: Because women don't keep their mouths shut long enough to build up pressure.

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Gross Jokes

Q: Why doesn't Tigger have any friends?
A: He plays with Pooh

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Gross Jokes Animal Jokes Friendship Jokes

To the tune of "Walking in a Winter Wonderland":
Dog tags ring, are you listening'?
In the lane, snow is glistening.
It's yellow, not white - I've been there tonight,
Marking up my winter wonderland.
Smell that tree? That's my fragrance.
It's a sign for wandering vagrants;
"Avoid where I рее, it's my property.
Marked up as my winter wonderland."
In the meadow dad will build a snowman,
following the classical design.
Then I'll lift my leg and let it go, man,
So all the world will know it's mine-mine-mine!
Straight from me to the fence post,
flows my natural incense boast,
"Stay off of my turf, this small piece of earth,
I mark it as my winter wonderland."

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Gross Jokes Animal Jokes Men jokes Funny Poems Dad Jokes

Two brothers, Bob and Tom, both work for a lumberyard.
One day, Bob tells Tom that he can tell what any piece of wood is just by smelling it. Unbelieving, Tom blindfolds Bob and proceeds to test the theory. The first piece of wood Bob smells, he instantly identifies as maple. The second piece Bob instantly identifies as walnut. Tom cannot believe Bob can really do this, so he takes an old piece of wood and whispers to the secretary to rub the wood between her legs. She happily runs it up in her crotch. Tom hands the piece of wood to Bob. Bob smells it three times.
''I am stumped. But I would have to guess that this wood is either a pussywillow or a shingle from a shiтhоusе.''

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Office and Work Jokes Gross Jokes Secretary Jokes

It''s awful scary in these woods, mister!
"It''s awful scary in these woods, mister!"
"You're telling me, I have to walk out of them by myself!"

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Gross Jokes Dirty jokes

Q: What's the difference between boogers and broccoli?
A: Kids don't eat broccoli.

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Gross Jokes

What's worse than waking up in the morning after an оrgy with рuвiс hair in your teeth?
Waking up in the morning after after an оrgy with a lump in your throat and a string hanging out of your mouth.

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Gross Jokes Dirty jokes

A young, innocent couple goes on their honeymoon. They get nакеd and jump into bed, but neither knows what to do. Eventually, they decide to rub their noses together. After awhile, they decide to rub their toes together. Finally, they begin to rub their hips together.
Suddenly, the man jumps up and runs to the bathroom. After several minutes, he returns to the bedroom, looking scared.
"What happened?" asks his bride.
"I don't know," he replies, "but something curdled my urinе!"

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Gross Jokes Men jokes

Seek and Ye Shall Find...
On a senior citizens bus tour, while the passengers were unloading to do some sightseeing, one elderly lady stopped and whispered in the driver's ear.
She said, ''Driver, I believe that I was sexually harassed!'' The driver didn't think much of her complaint, but promised he would check into it soon.
Later, that same day, as the passengers were unloading again, a second little old lady веnт down and whispered in his ear, ''Sir, I believe I was sexually harassed!'' This time, he figured he'd better look into it.
A few passengers had remained on the bus, and he decided to go back and question them, to find out if they knew what was going on.
He found one little old man crawling along the bus floor beneath the seats and stooped down to question him. ''Excuse me sir, could I help you?''
The elderly man looked up and said, ''Well, sonny you sure can. I've lost my toupee and I'm trying to find it..."
The man continued, "I thought I'd located it twice, but they were parted in the middle, and mine is parted on the side!''

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Q: What do you call a 900-pound woman with a yeast infection?
A: A whopper with cheese.

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Yeast + Billy Ray Cyrus = ?
What do you get when you cross Billy Ray Cyrus with a yeast infection?
An itchy, twitchy тwат!

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Gross Jokes Celebrity and Pop Culture Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes

What's green and yellow and eats nuts?
Gonorrhea.

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Gross Jokes

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