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A businessman is seated next to an absolutely gorgeous woman on a plane.
After they exchange brief hellos, he notices she is reading a manual of sеxuаl statistics. He asks her about it, and she replies, "This is a very interesting book. It says that Native Americans have the longest average реnis and Polish men have the biggest average diameter. By the way, my name is Jill. What's yours?"
He coolly replies, "Тоnто Kowalski - nice to meet you."

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My last girlfriend wanted me to talk dirтy to her in the bed.
I'm no wildman in the sack. Don't let the glasses and the hip threads fool you. I had a hard time with the degrading, profane language because I was raised a proverbial nice, Jewish boy. So this is how I would talk dirтy to her - it's embarrassing - 'You really like my schmeckle, don't you? I am gonna schtupp you so hard. Don't make me stick it in your tushie.'

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Nationality Jokes

Three Englishmen drink in a bar and spot an Irishman in the corner.
The first Englishman starts to taunt the Irishman, "Did you know that St. Patrick was a sissy?"
"Oh, no, I didn't know that. Thank you."
The second Englishman yells, "Did you know that St. Patrick was a transvestite?"
"Oh, no, I didn't know that. Thank you."
The third Englishman yells, "Did you know that St. Patrick was an Englishman?"
"Oh, no. But that's what your friends have been trying to tell me."

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Nationality Jokes Irish jokes St. Patrick's Day jokes

You know, wherever there are black folks in a group, white people have to show up because they're scared we're going to do something without them.

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Nationality Jokes

I thought I was real racist because I was liking those black men - so black that if you looked at a picture of them, it looks like a negative.

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Nationality Jokes

Q: What do you call a Mexican with a rubber toe?
A: Roberto.

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Nationality Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes Italian Jokes

We have so many nationalities.
It's gotten to the point now that you can go into any fast food place, and you can find out what kind of neighborhood you're in just by the ethnic group that works there. It's like, if Chinese people work there, you're in a Chinese neighborhood; if black people work there, you're in a black neighborhood; if white people work there, then you're in Utah.

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Office and Work Jokes Nationality Jokes Food Jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes

A Jewish guy's mother gives him two sweaters for Hanukkah. The next time he visits her, he makes sure to wear one.
As he walks into the house, his mother frowns and asks, "What - you didn't like the other one?"

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Nationality Jokes

Vat Vas Dat Agin?
Helga hangs the wash out to dry, then goes downtown to pick up some dry cleaning.
"Gootness, iss hot," she says as the sun beats down on her. She passes by a tavern and says, "Vy nought?" So she sits at the bar.
"Bartender," she says. "I vill have unt cold вееr, please."
The bartender asks, "Anheuser Busch?"
"Vell, fine, tanks," she says, "Just ah leetle svetty."

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Nationality Jokes Beer Jokes

As is tradition in Italian families, Marol spends her wedding night in her family home. Her mother sleeps in the adjacent room in case Marol has any questions. Mama tells Marol, "You have any a problem, you come and see Mama."
Later, Marol's husband unbuttons his shirt, and Marol jumps up, runs next door and cries, "Mama, Mama! He has hair all over his chest!"
Mama reassures Marol, "Men have hair on the chest. This is sign of a good man. Go now and make him happy."
But when Marol's husband takes off his belt, she goes jumps up again, runs next door and cries, "Mama, Mama! He has a protrusion in his pants!"
Mama reassures her, "He finds you beautiful. This is sign of a good man. Go now and make him happy."
Finally, Marol's husband takes off his shoes. Due to a terrible childhood accident, he only has half of his right foot. Marol jumps up and runs back to her mother's room, shouting, "Mama, Mama! He has a foot and a half!"
Her mother gets up and announces, "Stand back, Marol - this is a job for Mama!"

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Nationality Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Men jokes Sex Jokes Wedding jokes

Why Do Scotsmen Wear Kilts?
Q: Why do Scotsmen wear kilts?
A: Because the sound of zippers scare the sheep away.

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Nationality Jokes

Q: What's white and 14 inches long?
A: Absolutely nothing.

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Nationality Jokes

I want me a big black girl...
the type of woman that sits in the car and it looks like it's got tinted windows.

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Jokes about Women Car and driving jokes Nationality Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Black People Jokes

A Texan, a Russian and a New Yorker go to a restaurant in London.The waiter tells them, "Excuse me - if you were going to order the steak, I'm afraid there's a shortage due to the mad соw disease."
The Texan says, "What's a shortage?"
The Russian says, "What's a steak?"
The New Yorker says, "What's 'excuse me'?"

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Nationality Jokes Food Jokes Restaurant Jokes

We need to just understand saying 'I love you' to your mom and dad because you only get one mom - and two or three dads.

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Nationality Jokes

A crook mistakenly made a counterfeit $8 bill instead of a $10 bill.
He decided to try it out anyway, so he went to the bank and asked for change. The teller looked at the $8 bill and gave the crook two $4 bills as change.

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Money jokes Banker Jokes

Q: What did the bird say after his cage fell apart?
A: "Cheap, cheap!"

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Money jokes

My mama was so cheap, she waited 'til after Christmas.
'Baby, Santa Claus missed our house. I called him, and he coming back tomorrow.' She was waiting for the stuff to go on sale.

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Money jokes

Cats are cool because you don't have to buy them.
You see them on the street, take them home - they're yours. You ain't never seen a cat being bought out of a pet store. They just sit in the pet store. They're under there like, 'Meow,' and you be looking at them like, 'Oh they're so cute. Let's go find one like that.'

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Money jokes

He took me to McDonald's, backed his car through the drive-through window, so the cashier could be on my side.

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Money jokes

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