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Three bored girls are sitting around, and one of them suggests that they make up nicknames for their ideal boyfriends and name them after soda pops.
The first girl says, "I want mine to be 7-Up, 'cause seven days a week, he's up."
The second girl answers, "I want mine to be Mountain Dew 'cause when he's in between my mountains, we'll be doing it."
The third girl replies, "Mine's gonna be Jack Daniel's."
Her friends argue, "You can't do that. Here we are talking about soda pop, and you're talking about a hard liquor."
The third girl says, "Exactly."

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Men vs Women Jokes

Q: Who made the first soft drink?
A: Adam - he made Eve's cherry pop.

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Religion jokes Men vs Women Jokes

A man is sitting next to a woman on an airplane. Suddenly, the man sneezes. He unzips his pants and wipes himself off with his handkerchief. He zips up and continues reading his magazine.
The woman cannot believe what she has just seen. He sneezes again, unzips and wipes himself off with the handkerchief.
The woman says, "Sir, that's disgusting and rude! If you do it again, I'm going to call the flight attendant and have you removed from this plane."
He says, "I'm so sorry that I've offended you. I have this very rare, embarrassing condition that causes me to оrgаsм every time I sneeze."
The woman, disarmed by the man's honesty, says with sympathy, "Oh, you poor man. What do you take for it?"
"Pepper," he answers.

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Men vs Women Jokes Aviation Jokes Boss Jokes

Q: How do you know when a man's going to say something intelligent?
A: He starts his sentence with "My wife told me... ."

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Jokes about Women Men vs Women Jokes Men jokes Sexist Jokes

A boy was playing with himself in the bathtub when his father walked in and said, "Son, if you don't stop doing that, you'll go blind."
The boy replied,"Dad, I'm over here."

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Men vs Women Jokes

There was a man with a restaurant near a construction site.
The construction workers usually had their lunches in there, their favorite meal being beef soup. But one day the chef ran out of meat and in his panicked state he ran out the door in the hope of finding a ride to town. After noticing that there was no vehicles nearby he sadly started walking back to his restaurant. Upon nearing the construction site he saw a sheep tied up on a pole nearby. He was so happy that he untied the sheep and proceeded to his place. At lunchtime the construction workers walked in and ordered their favorite soup. During the meal, the guys started exclaiming in delight that the soup tasted extremely good today and asked what was the reason for that. The chef was pleased and proceeded to tell them about his predicament. Everyone stopped eating with a dazed look on their faces. The chef asked,
"What's the matter boys, did I sсrеw up the cooking?"
"No." replied the foreman of the construction team, "you cooked up the sсrеwing."

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Men vs Women Jokes Restaurant Jokes

Q: What do men and parking spaces have in common?
A: The good ones are always taken and the free ones are either very small or handicaped.

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Men vs Women Jokes

What do spaghetti and women have in common?
They both squirm when you eat them.

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Jokes about Women Men vs Women Jokes Food Jokes Blonde Jokes Dirty jokes

"Dad," asked son, "What's that shriveled up old thing on Grandma?"
Dad replied ''That's Grandpa!"

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Men vs Women Jokes

A blonde was walking down the street with shower caps on her вrеаsтs.
A guy asked her, "Hey, what's with the shower caps?"
"Shower caps?" she replied. "These are воовy condoms!"

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Men vs Women Jokes Blonde Jokes

Q: Why did the blonde keep a picture of herself in her room?
A: So she could use it as a mirror.

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Men vs Women Jokes Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes

Q: How does a blonde order a root вееr?
A: Extra large, hold the roots.

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Men vs Women Jokes Blonde Jokes Beer Jokes

Q: What's the speed limit of sеx?
A: Sixty-eight - at 69, you have to turn around.

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Men vs Women Jokes Dirty jokes Sex Jokes

A police officer saw a car speeding down the highway, and he started chasing after the speeder. When he got close, he saw that it was a woman who was knitting while driving.
The cop yelled, "Pull over!"
She shouted back, "No, it's a sweater!"

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Men vs Women Jokes Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes

Spegg or Ermm?
What do you get when you cross an egg with a sреrм?
An omlette you probably shouldn't eat.

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Men vs Women Jokes

How can you tell if you have a high sреrм count?
If your girlfriend chews before swallowing.

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Men vs Women Jokes

Q: Why do they pay sреrм donors?
A: Because otherwise they'd stop coming!

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Men vs Women Jokes

What's black and white, black and brown, and black and black?
A nun roasting on a spit.

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Men vs Women Jokes

I love Cosmopolitan Magazine.
I guess it's 'cause it's got a whole bunch of sеxy tips in it. I was reading it a couple weeks ago, and the best sеx, according to Cosmo, is spontaneous sеx. That sounds good, right? So here's what I did: a couple of days later, I was doing the dishes, and I just surprised myself and masturbated.

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Men vs Women Jokes Masturbation jokes

What do you call the spot between a woman's vаginа and her вuттhоlе?
A chinrest!

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Men vs Women Jokes

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