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Q: Why do blondes wear tampons when they skydive?
A: So they don't whistle on their way down.

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Men vs Women Jokes Blonde Jokes

Did you hear about the blonde skydiver?
She missed the Earth.

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Men vs Women Jokes Blonde Jokes

Jake was watching vigilantly at his dying wife's side. ''Sleep now, its all right,'' he told her.
But she kept trying to sit up and said, ''Honey, I really need to tell you something.''
Finally Jake let her get it off her chest.
''Jake, honey, I need to tell you something before I die. During the last two months, I slept with your brother, your best friend and your father.''
''Don't worry about it,'' Jake said, ''I already know. Why do you think I poisoned you?''

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Men vs Women Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Friendship Jokes Sick and Death Jokes

Q: Why was the blonde having trouble sleeping?
A: She forgot to close her eyes.

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Men vs Women Jokes Blonde Jokes

How are a blonde's legs like automatic doors?
You walk toward them and they open!

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Men vs Women Jokes Blonde Jokes

A market researcher called at a house and his knock was answered by a young woman with three small children running around her.
He asked her if she minded replying to his questions and when she agreed, he asked her if she knew his company, Cheeseborough-Ponds. When she said no, he mentioned that among their many products was Vaseline and she certainly knew of that product. When asked if she used it, she answered,
''Yes, we use it when we have sеxuаl inтеrсоursе.''
The interviewer was amazed. He said,
''I always ask that question because everyone uses our product and they always say they use it for the child's bicycle chain, or the gate hinge or some other purpose. But I know that most people really use it for sеxuаl inтеrсоursе, they just don't like to say so. Since you've been so frank, could you tell me exactly how you use it?''
''We put it on the doorknob to keep the kids out.''

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Men vs Women Jokes

A nun was walking down the corridor when suddenly she trips up.
She yells out in pain, "Oh Сhrisт! Oh God, I said Сhrisт! Oh s**t, I said God! Oh, f**k, I said s**t! Oh, who wants to be a f**king nun anyway?"

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Men vs Women Jokes

Sue and Sally were discussing their sеx lives.
Sue said, "Mine's OK. We get it on every week, but it's no big adventure. How's yours?"
Sally replied, "It's great ever since we got into S&M."
Sue was surprised. "Really, Sally, I never would have guessed that you'd go for that."
"Oh, sure," says Sally, "He snores while I маsтurвате."

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Jokes about Women Men vs Women Jokes Sex Jokes Masturbation jokes

What do you call a smart blonde?
A Golden Retriever.

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Men vs Women Jokes Blonde Jokes

A lady walks into the local record store.
"Do you have Jingle Bells on the old 12 inch?" she asks.
"No, but I've got dangling ваlls and a 7-inch," says the sмаrтаss behind the counter. The lady thinks for a second.
"Is that a record?"
"I think so. I'm only 14."

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Men vs Women Jokes

Q: Why do brides smile while they walk down the wedding aisle?
A: They realize they've given their last вlоw jobs.

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Men vs Women Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Dirty jokes

Q: Why didn't Smokey the Bear have cubs?
A: Every time his wife got hot, he stomped her out.

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Men vs Women Jokes

A man relaxes with his evening paper when he hears a light knock on the door. He opens it, looks down and sees a small snail.
"Mister, could you spare some change?" the snail asks. The man picks up the snail, throws him into the bushes and goes back to reading.
A year later, there is another knock at the door. It's the snail again.
"What'd you do that for?"

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Men vs Women Jokes American Presidents Humor

Little Johnny walks in on his mother in the bathtub. He asks his mother what is the big fuzzy patch below her bellybutton. She replies, "A bush."
The next day Little Johnny walks in on his father while he's in the shower. He asks, "What is that big long thing hanging between your legs?" His father replies, "It is a snake."
A few days later, Little Johnny walks in on his mother, once again in the bathtub. He asks, "What are those two baggy things hanging above your bellybutton?" She replies, "Headlights." A couple weeks go by and the little boy walks in on his parents having sеx. He yells, "Mom, turn on your headlights! The snake is crawling into your bush!"

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Men vs Women Jokes Little Johnny Jokes Animal Jokes Sex Jokes American Presidents Humor

Q: What kind of birth control do snakes use?
A: Anacondoms.

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Men vs Women Jokes

"Doctor, everytime I sneeze I have an оrgаsм!"
"Are you doing anything for it?"
"Snorting pepper."

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Men vs Women Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes

Why does it take longer to make a blonde snowman?
Because you have to hollow out the head first.

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Men vs Women Jokes Blonde Jokes

Q: Why did Frosty the Snowman pull his pants down?
A: He heard the snowblower coming.

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Men vs Women Jokes Dirty jokes Weather jokes

Q: How is a man like a snowstorm?
A: You don't know when it's going to come, how many inches you'll get or how long it'll last.

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Men vs Women Jokes Men jokes Sex Jokes

Q: What's a blonde's definition of socialism?
A: Partying!

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Men vs Women Jokes Blonde Jokes