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Вицове за Марс English Mars Witze Español Анекдоты про Марс Mars Blagues Marte Ελληνικά Македонски Türkçe Українська Português Polski Svenska Nederlands Dansk Norsk Suomi Magyar Româna Čeština Lietuvių Latviešu Hrvatski
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Mars

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Ако на земята тежиш 100кг Если на Земле ты весишь 100 кг Si vous pesez 100 kg sur terre Se pesi 100kg sulla Terra Wenn du 100 kg auf der Erde wiegst Dünya'da 100 kiloysanız
If you weigh 100 kilos on Earth, you only weigh 38 kilos on Mars.
YOU are not FАТ.
You are on wrong planet
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Dude! Stop looking at her Look at me. We have a mission Beauty is temporary. Mars is forever!
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How to get man on mars:
Tell America there's oil there.
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Scientists have finally figured out what happened to all the water that used be Mars
Turns out, the planet was once occupied by Nestle
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Elon Musk wants to send people to Mars
I think we can all agree that he is the most creative serial killer of all time.
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What do Mars and Oklahoma have in common?
A lotta red dirt and no signs of intelligent life.
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So aliens from Mars comes down to Earth...
... And they're friendly! The leaders of the world and the aliens plan a huge televised event where the leaders can ask questions on whatever they want.
During this event, the pope is up to talk to the aliens.
"I know this question may sound odd to you gentlemen," the pope starts to ask, "but I was wondering if you and your kind knew about Jesus Сhrisт?"
"Jesus Сhrisт?!?" the alien leader exclaims, "how do we not! He swings by our planet every two years or so. Awesome guy!"
Now this obviously starts a huge debate within the UN, as this information now has implications to everything they knew. The pope, however, is not exactly a happy person as his brain is on other information.
"EVERY TWO YEARS OR SO?!?" The pope exclaims, "We've still been waiting for his SECOND coming!"
Trying to calm down the pope, the aliens say "Well maybe he didn't like your chocolate."
The pope, upon hearing this news, takes a few moments to calm down. When he finally regains his composure, he states calmly, "Forgive me, but what does chocolate have anything to do with this?"
The aliens respond, "Well when he was on our planet, we would give him huge boxes of chocolates. Why, what did you guys do when he was here?"
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