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Most Popular Jokes

"They say women speak 20,000 words a day. I have a daughter who gets that done by breakfast."

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Mom jokes

"A toddler can do more in one unsupervised minute than most people can do in a day."

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Mom jokes

"Important truth no one tells a first-time mom: Both of you come home from the hospital in diapers."

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Mom jokes

"Please excuse the mess, my kids are making memories. Of me yelling at them. To clean up the mess."

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Mom jokes

"Some days I do yoga and don't yell at my kids. Some days I scream at them while eating cake over the kitchen sink. It's called balance." @katiebinghamsmith

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Mom jokes

"I love it when I find myself screaming 'STOP SCREAMING' at my kids. That's how I teach them irony." @motherhoodandmore

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Mom jokes

"Other moms: Are you okay?! Let’s clean that up. I’ll take care of you.
My mom: Maybe if you listened when I told you not to do that, you would be perfectly fine right now."

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Mom jokes

"Silence is golden. Unless you have kids. Then silence is suspicious."

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Mom jokes

"One minute you are young and cool, maybe even a little dangerous, and the next you are reading Amazon reviews for birdseed." @simoncholland

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Mom jokes

"Kid: Mom, stop. You aren't funny. Mom: I made you."

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Mom jokes

"Why was it so hard for the pirate to call his mom on Mother’s Day? Because she left the phone off the hook."

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Mom jokes Pirate Jokes

"What did mommy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web."

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Mom jokes

"What kind of sweets do astronaut moms like? Mars bars."

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Mom jokes

"Why is a computer so smart? Because it listens to its motherboard."

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Mom jokes

"What kind of flowers are best for Mother’s Day? Mums."

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Mom jokes

"What's black and white and goes round and round? A реnguin in the washing machine."

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Mom jokes

"Why did the bean children give their mom a sweater? She was chili."

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Mom jokes

"I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I'll let you know."

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Mom jokes

"When your mother asks, 'Do you want a piece of advice?' it is a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're going to get it anyway."
Erma Bombeck

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Mom jokes

“I always say if you aren’t yelling at your kids, you’re not spending enough time with them.”
Reese Witherspoon

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Mom jokes