Mom jokes

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"Kid: Mom, stop. You aren't funny. Mom: I made you."

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Mom jokes

"Why was the house so neat on Mother’s Day? Because Mom spent all day Saturday cleaning it."

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Mom jokes

"What did the mama tomato say to the baby tomato? Catch up!"

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Mom jokes

"Why was it so hard for the pirate to call his mom on Mother’s Day? Because she left the phone off the hook."

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Mom jokes Pirate Jokes

"What did mommy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web."

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Mom jokes

"What kind of sweets do astronaut moms like? Mars bars."

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Mom jokes

"Why is a computer so smart? Because it listens to its motherboard."

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Mom jokes

"Finally my winter fат is gone. Now I have spring rolls."

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Mom jokes

"What kind of flowers are best for Mother’s Day? Mums."

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Mom jokes

"What's black and white and goes round and round? A реnguin in the washing machine."

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Mom jokes

"What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? Where’s Popcorn?"

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Mom jokes

"Why did the bean children give their mom a sweater? She was chili."

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Mom jokes

"I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I'll let you know."

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Mom jokes

"When your mother asks, 'Do you want a piece of advice?' it is a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're going to get it anyway."
Erma Bombeck

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Mom jokes

“I always say if you aren’t yelling at your kids, you’re not spending enough time with them.”
Reese Witherspoon

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Mom jokes

"Be nice to your children, for they will choose your rest home."
Phyllis Diller

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Mom jokes

“The majority of my diet is made up of foods that my kid didn’t finish.” Carrie Underwood

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Mom jokes Military Jokes Diet and Weight Loss Jokes

"Like all parents, my husband and I just do the best we can, and hold our breath and hope we've set aside enough money to pay for our kids' therapy." Michelle Pfeiffer

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Mom jokes

"Every day when you’re raising kids, you feel like you could cry or сrаск up and just scream, 'This is ridiculous!' Because there's so much nonsense, whether it's what they're saying to you or the fact that there's avocado or роор on every surface."
Kristen Bell

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Mom jokes

“There are no rules in this house. I’m not like a regular mom, I’m a cool mom.”
Amy Poehler, Mean Girls

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Mom jokes

"Kids are challenging. Wine is necessary."
Kelly Clarkson

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Mom jokes

“Waking your kids up for school the first day after a break is almost as much fun as birthing them was.”
Jenny McCarthy

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Mom jokes School Jokes

"When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I come out."
Erma Bombeck

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Mom jokes

"Does this baby make me look fат?"
Amy Schumer

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Mom jokes

"Sleep at this point is just a concept, something I'm looking forward to investigating in the future."
Amy Poehler

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Mom jokes

"When your children are teenagers, it's important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you."
Nora Ephron

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Mom jokes Dog jokes

"Only I can understand my kid. She's like, 'Bdidk g idkgndg kgdogjj ogijg.' And I'm like, 'Okay, I will get you a piece of sausage in just a minute.'"
Chrissy Teigen

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Mom jokes

"You know how once you have kids you never ever рее by yourself again? At least one of them is always in there with you at all times."
Jennifer Garner

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Mom jokes

"Becoming a mom to me means you have accepted that for 16 years of your life, you will have a sticky purse."
Nia Vardalos

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Mom jokes

"Motherhood is basically finding activities for children in three-hour pockets of time for the rest of your life."
Mindy Kaling

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Mom jokes