Most popular jokes

Q: What's better than roses on a piano?
A: Tulips on my оrgаn.

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Q: What's about six inches long and produces a white, frothy substance when rubbed back and forth and in and out?
A: A toothbrush.

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Men vs Women Jokes

Q: Why was the rooster so unhappy?
A: He only got laid once, and it was by his mother.

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Men vs Women Jokes

Q: What did saggy воов say to the other saggy воов?
A: "If we don't get some support here people are going to think were nuts."

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Men vs Women Jokes Dirty jokes Sex Jokes Sexist Jokes

An old retired sailor puts on his old uniform and goes down to the docks once more for old time's sake. He hires a рrоsтiтuте and takes her up to the room. He's going at it as best as he can for a guy his age and asks, "How am I doing?"
The рrоsтiтuте says, "Well, sailor, you're doing about three knots."
"How's that?" he asks.
She says, "You're not hard, you're not in, and you're not getting your money back."

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Men vs Women Jokes Sailor Jokes

A travelling salesman's car breaks down in the middle of nowhere. He gets out and tries to find something close by - and comes upon a farm. Not believing his luck, he knocks on the door, and a farmer answers.
"Sir," says the salesman. "Could you help me? My car's broken down, and I need a place to stay for the night."
"Sure," says the farmer. "But I only have one bed, and my very, very ugly daughter sleeps there."
"Oh, сrар," says the salesman. "I'm in the wrong joke."

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Men vs Women Jokes

One man is walking a tightrope. Another man is getting a вlоw job from a 90-year-old woman.
What do the men have in common?
In order to succeed, both must follow the same advice: don't look down.

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Men vs Women Jokes

Q: Why don't the girls in San Francisco wear miniskirts?
A: Because their nuts would hang out!

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Men vs Women Jokes

There was an older man who'd married a younger woman. All was going well... except in the bedroom. He couldn't last long enough to satisfy her. She said it didn't matter but he knew it was getting her down. So he went to the doctor and asked for help.
The doctor recommended that he satisfy himself before they have sеx - that way, he'd last longer. The next day, the man planned on ravishing his wife when he came home, and decided to please himself on the way. So he pulled over onto a quiet road. But he couldn't just sit there in his car having a wаnк, so he decided to lie under the car and pretend that he was fixing he car. He crawled under the car, closed his eyes, imagined his wife nакеd, and started wanking. After a while he felt something tugging at his jeans.
"Sir, this is the police. Would you mind telling us what you're doing?"
Not wanting to lose this wonderful image of his wife he kept his eyes closed.
"I'm just fixing the axle of my car, officer."
"Well, while you're down there you'd better check the brakes. Your car has crashed into a tree half a mile down the road!"

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Men vs Women Jokes

Q: Why do brunettes know so many blonde jokes?
A: It gives them something to do on Saturday night.

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Men vs Women Jokes Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes

A new law recently passed in Arkansas.
When a couple is divorced, they can still legally be brother and sister.

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Men vs Women Jokes

Confucious say, "Man who stuffs his own sausage pounds his own meat."

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Men vs Women Jokes

There was a woman who was interested in getting a воов job, so she went to her doctor, Dr.
Smith and questioned him about implants. He explained that, before you do anything too serious, there is a method that has worked for a lot of my patients. Every morning when you wake up rub your воовs and say ''Scoobie doobie doobie, give me вiggеr воовiеs.'' She did this faithfully for weeks and noticed one day that they actually were getting вiggеr, she was very impressed.
One morning she woke up, late for work and very rushed. By the time she got on the bus she realized that she forgot to go through her routine. So standing on the bus, while rubbing her воовs she says ''Scoobie doobie doobie, give me вiggеr воовiеs''. The man standing next to her says, ''You go to Dr. Smith?'' ''Yes,'' she said, ''how did you know?'' He replies ''Hickory dickory dock!''

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Men vs Women Jokes Boob Jokes

Q: What do you call nine blondes in the ocean?
A: An air pocket.

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Men vs Women Jokes Blonde Jokes

What's the difference between a blonde and a hole in the mattress?
I still can't find the difference.

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Men vs Women Jokes Blonde Jokes

What do blonde women put behind their ears to attract men?
Their ankles.

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Men vs Women Jokes Blonde Jokes

What's red with seven dents in it?
Snow White's cherry.

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Men vs Women Jokes

A woman wants a facelift and her surgeon tells her about a new procedure. "We put a dial in the back of your head and when your skin starts to sag you simply turn the кnов."
"That sounds good," she says.
Two years later, she goes back and tells the surgeon that the dial is giving her bags under her eyes.
"I'm sorry," replies the surgeon, "but those aren't bags - those are your тiтs."
"Oh," says the woman, "well that explains the goatee."

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Men vs Women Jokes Boob Jokes

Why did the redneck school stop teaching sеx ed?
They needed the car for driver's ed.

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Men vs Women Jokes School Jokes

How do you know that an auto mechanic just had sеx?
One of his fingers is clean

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Men vs Women Jokes Dirty jokes Sex Jokes

Most Popular Jokes