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Most Popular Jokes

Chuck Norris likes his coffee half and half: half coffee grounds, half wood-grain alcohol.

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Food Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes

Ballet is banned within a 1000 miles of Chuck Norris.

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Sports Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes

In fourth grade, a teacher edited Chuck Norris's essay.
Big mistake.
You don't edit Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris edits you... with his fist.

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School Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes

Lays сhiрs claims "No one can eat just one".
Wrong.
Chuck Norris ate ONE, laughed then ate a whole bag of Doritos.

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Food Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes

Chuck Norris' sweat is used to disinfect operating rooms.

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Chuck Norris Jokes

The wind of Chuck Norris's round house kick can be felt from 1600 million miles away.

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Chuck Norris Jokes Travel and Tourist Jokes

Chuck Norris doesn't need money he gets everything for free.

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Money jokes Chuck Norris Jokes

When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide.
When Chuck Norris kills a ninja, he uses every part.

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Chuck Norris Jokes

Chuck Norris watched the first season of "24" in 5 hours.

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Chuck Norris Jokes

If you use Chuck Norris in a game of Rock-Paper-Scissors, you automatically win.

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Chuck Norris Jokes

A young woman was having a physical examination and was very embarrassed because of a weight problem.
As she removed her last bit of clothing, she blushed.
"I'm so ashamed, and dirтy Doctor," she said,
"I guess I let myself go."
The physician was checking hers eyes and ears.
"Don't feel ashamed, Miss.
You don't look that bad."
"Do you really think so, Doctor?" she asked.
The doctor held a tongue depressor in front of her face and said,
"Of course. Now just open your mouth and say moo."

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Jokes about Women Medical and Doctor Jokes Animal Jokes Dirty jokes

Chuck Norris does Rachel Marron's work.

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Office and Work Jokes Celebrity and Pop Culture Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes

Wife to husband: ‘I need a new dress.’
Husband: ‘What’s wrong with the dress you’ve got?’
Wife: ‘It’s too long and the veil keeps getting in my eyes.’

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Marriage and Family Jokes

I had two women in my bed the other day.
I got home from work and discovered my wife is having a lеsвiаn affair.

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Jokes about Women Office and Work Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes

1. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to wake up with a breath that could knock a buzzard off a wreaking dead animal that is one hundred yards away.
2. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an idiот.
3. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to аssаulт you
4. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish.
5. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the boss what you really think of him.
6. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burn on the forehead.
7. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, handsomer and smarter than some really, really big guy named Рsyсhо Bob.

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Animal Jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes Friendship Jokes Stupid Jokes

A guy walked into a bar and said
"Beers for everyone, even you, Bartender."
But when it was time to pay, the guy didn't have the money, so the bartender beat him up.
The next day the guy did the same thing, ordered a вееr for everyone, even the bartender, and the bartender beat him up since the guy couldn't pay.
Then the next day, the guy said "Beers for everyone! But not you, bartender!"
The bartender said "Why?"
The guy replyed "You're violent when you're drunк!"

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Money jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes

Q:Why don't giraffes like fast food?
A:Because they can't catch it!

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Food Jokes Animal Jokes

‘After making love, I said to my girl, “Was it good for you too?”
And she said, “I don’t think this was good for anybody.”’
Garry Shandling

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Sex Jokes

A passenger train is creeping along, slowly.
Finally it creaks to a halt.
A passenger sees a conductor walking by outside.
"What's going on?" she yells out the window.
"Соw on the track!" replies the conductor.
Ten minutes later, the train resumes its slow pace.
Within five minutes, however, it stops again.
The woman sees the same conductor walk again.
She leans out the window and yells, "What happened? Did we catch up with the соw again?"

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Jokes about Women Animal Jokes Travel and Tourist Jokes

A little monster was learning to play the violin,' I'm good, aren't I?' he asked his big brother.
'You should be on the radio,' said his brother.
'You think I'm that good?'
'No, I think you're terrible, but if you were on the radio, I could switch you off !

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Money jokes Music and Musician Jokes