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Latest Jokes

Q: What does a baby computer call its dad?
A: Data

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Computer Jokes Dad Jokes Baby Jokes

A blind man with a guide dog comes to a town square, takes the dog by the tail and starts whirling him around.
„What on earth are you doing?!" asks a passer-by.
The blind man replies, „Nothing, just looking around a bit."

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Pet Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Animal Jokes Men jokes Dog jokes

A new bride was a bit embarrassed to be known as a honeymooner.
So when she and her husband pulled up to the hotel, she asked him if there was any way that they could make it appear that they had been married a long time.
He responded, "Sure. You carry the suitcases!"

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Men vs Women Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Men jokes Hotel Jokes

Gilding the lily is a job seeker's birthright. Here are a few doozies, where the applicant claimed:
- to be a former CEO of the company to which he was applying.
- to be fluent in two languages—one of which was pig Latin.
- to be a Nobel Prize winner.
- to have worked in a jail when he was really in there serving time.
- he was fired "on accident."

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Office and Work Jokes Management Jokes Prison Jokes Communication Jokes Stupid Jokes

Chuck Norris bowled a perfect game...
While using a golf ball.

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Chuck Norris Jokes Golf jokes

Q. How do you know when you are getting old?
A. When you start having dry dreams and wet farts.

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Sex Jokes Old People Jokes Fart Jokes

How do we know Peter was a rich fisherman?
By his net income.

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Fishing Jokes Money jokes Christian Jokes Tax jokes

A traveling salesman rings this doorbell.
10 year old little Johnny opens, holding a вееr and smoking a fат cigar.
The salesman says, "Little boy is your mother home?"
Little Johnny taps his ash on the carpet and says, "What do you think?"

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Drinking and Drunk Jokes Little Johnny Jokes Kids Jokes Drug Jokes Fat Jokes Beer Jokes

Q: And the difference between tax avoidance and tax evasion?
A: Jail.

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Money jokes Accountant Jokes Prison Jokes Tax jokes

Q: Which Bible character had no parents?
A: Joshua, son of Nun (Joshua 1:1).

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Religion jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Computer Jokes Geek jokes Bible Jokes

Dad: "I heard you missed school yesterday."
Little Johnny: "Not a bit."

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School Jokes Little Johnny Jokes Dad Jokes

A customer walked into our store looking for Christmas lights.
I showed her our top brand, but, wanting to make sure each bulb worked, she asked me to take them out of the box and plug them in.
I did, and each one lit up.
"Great," she said.
I carefully placed the string of lights back in the box.
But as I handed them to her, she looked alarmed.
"I don't want this box," she said abruptly. "It's been opened."

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Christmas Jokes Office and Work Jokes Technology Jokes Customer service jokes

What's the difference between a dead baby and a Styrofoam cup?
A dead baby doesn't harm the atmosphere when you burn it.

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Dark Humor Jokes Morbid jokes Dead baby jokes

How did the black guy escape from jail?
He unscrewed the light bulbs.

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Ethnic and Racial Jokes Prison Jokes Light bulb jokes Black People Jokes

Chuck Norris once played with Legos.
The result was The Great Pyramids.

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Chuck Norris Jokes

When Chuck Norris plays hide and seek, even google can't find him.

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Chuck Norris Jokes Internet Jokes

One day the teacher was asking the class about there weekends.
She asked sue, "how was your weekend?"
"Good."
Then little Johnny waved his hand "me, me, me."
Finally giving in said, "what did you do this weekend?"
"I rode in my wagon pulled by my dog and hit a steep hill. The wagon started going faster than the dog and the handle went up his аss."
"Rестuм is the word you're looking for," she says.
"Rестuм," said Johnny, "da man near killed him."

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Little Johnny Jokes School Jokes Animal Jokes Vulgar jokes Communication Jokes Dog jokes

How are women and linoleum floors alike?
You lay them right the first time and you can walk all over them for the next 20 years.

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Jokes about Women Men jokes Sex Jokes Old People Jokes

How do you keep a blonde in suspense?
"Present her with a mirror and tell her to wait for the other person to say ‘Hello'."

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Blonde Jokes

Yo mama so round and fат that she makes an eclipse with the sun.

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Yo Momma Jokes Science jokes Fat Jokes