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At a meeting for peace negotiations Bill Clinton and Saddam Hussein were in Baghdad and when bill sat down in the conference room he noticed Saddam with three buttons on the arm of his chair. After a few minutes Saddam pressed the first button and a boxing glove sprung up and hit Bill square in the jaw. In the spirit of peace Bill decided to ignore this and continued talking until Saddam pressed the second button and a wooden bat swung out and hill Bill in the сhin. Saddam started laughing. But again Bill ignored this and continued. A minute later Bill saw Saddam press the third button and he jumped in the air. But a big boot sprung out and hit him in the ваlls. Bill had decided he had enough of this and when home.
Three weeks later the peace negotiations were re-scheduled in Washington and as Saddam sat down in Bills conference room he noticed Bill had three buttons on the arm of his chair. A little while after they started talking Bill pressed the first button but nothing happened, Bill started giggling. They continued to talk then Bill pressed the second button, Saddam moved but again nothing happened. Saddam was getting a little jumpy and Bill was laughing even harder. A few minutes later Bill pressed the third button and stared рissing himself but like the others nothing happened. Saddam had enough of this, stood up and said,
"That's it! I'm going back to Baghdad!" to which Bill replied "What Baghdad?"
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An Antartian wanting to learn how to fly a plane signs up at a small airport and was told they only equipment available is a helicopter. The Antartian thinks for a moment and says, "That’s fine, I'll just learn how to pilot a helicopter." After some ground instructions the day of the solo comes and the Antartian is at the commands of the helicopter. He goes up 1000 feet with no problem, climbs to 2000 and the instructor asks “ Is everything o. K.” The Antartian responds; “yes everything is going well.” The instructor is very happy to have such a great student and decides to give him the last test, so he orders the Antartian to climb to 3500 feet, make a turn and land. The instructor goes out to see the landing when suddenly he sees the helicopter falling down. Luckily after all that the student pilot was alive, and the instructor asked him, “ what happened when everything was going so well? The pilot replied:
"It was getting cold so I turned the outside fаn off."
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T here was a Japanese guy who went to America for sightseeing. On the last day, he hailed a cab and told the driver to drive to the airport.
During the journey, a Honda drove past the taxi. Thereupon, the Japanese leaned out of the window excitedly and yelled, “Honda, very fast! Made in Japan!”
After a while, a Toyota sped past the taxi. Again, the Japanese leaned out of the window and yelled, “Toyota, very fast! Made in Japan!”
And then a Mitsubishi sped past the taxi. For the third time, the Japanese leaned out of the window and yelled, “Mitsubishi, very fast! Made in Japan!”
The driver was a little angry, but he kept quiet. And this went on for quite a number of cars. Finally, the taxi came to the airport. The fare was US$300.
The Japanese exclaimed, “Wah… so expensive!”
Thereupon, the driver yelled back, “Meter, very fast! Made in Japan!”
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