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Latest Jokes

A couple is traveling on the Kansas Turnpike resisting 40 to 50 mph crosswinds. At the tollbooth, the husband asks the attendant; “What do you people do in Kansas when the wind stops?” The attendant didn’t miss a beat when he answered, “We take the rocks out of our pockets.”

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Jokes

I've been single a while now but i went out last night and took out my ex ,
... With a single punch.

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Single People Jokes

I’ve decided that from now on I’m going to stop drinking. Fed up of waking up in my car doing 90mph.

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Jokes

Girls have a very specific type. You ask guys, like, 'Hey, what do you look for in a woman?' It's like, 'Uh -- my реnis?'

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Jokes about Women Dirty jokes

I just met my girlfriend almost 3 months ago on the eve of New Years 2016 at a party and we just hit it off and have been together a couple since that night. The crazy thing is her favorite thing to eat is a burrito and my favorite is a taco, it's a blessing and curse at the same time because we have been eating each others out every night because i love her soft taco and she loves my beef burrito

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Dirty jokes

Aw, is your engine overheating?

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Dirty jokes

Man: My f*ckbuddy says I'm gаy. I don't know what his problem is.

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Dirty jokes Men jokes

You have to pretend like you want to use a соndом. I like to say something fun when I bring it up, but honest. I'll be like, 'You're going to want to wear this. I've had a busy month.'

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Dirty jokes

My secret identity? Mild-mannered роrn star.

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Dirty jokes

Guys, I'll tell you what -- if you do the exercise, it will increase your оrgаsм. I do 4,200 a day. You can laugh if you'd like, but I can knock the lamp off the night table.

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Dirty jokes

My niece is a sophomore at West Point. She's already had five majors -- and three captains and two lieutenants. She's a very slutty young woman.

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Jokes about Women Dirty jokes

Asda have reported a 300% increase in cucumber sales since the book ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ was released.

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Dirty jokes

Little red riding hood was going to grandmas house. Little reds moms said,
"Watch out for the big bad wolf, because he'll pull up your little red dress, pull down your little red раnтiеs, and rаре your little red socks off". Little red pulls out a shotgun and says,
"Its ok mom I've got it". Liyyle red goes into the woods and finds the big bad wolf. He says," come here little girl so I can pull up your little red dress, pull down your little red раnтiеs, and rаре your little red socks off. Little red pulls out the shot gun and says," fuск you, im gonna pull up my little red dress, pull down my little red раnтiеs and your gonna eat me like in the real atory".

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Dirty jokes

Diскs are long
Dicks are hard
Lets get drunк And go to the bar
Have some fun
In our bed at last
Don't over do it
Or I'm gonna blast.
Shove it in Take it out.
Holy shiт...
That's what I'm talking about.

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Dirty jokes

A group of golfers were approaching the first tee when they noticed a woman being given first aid.
One of the golfers asked what had happened and he was informed that the woman had been bit by a bee and was having a reaction.
“Where was she bit?” he asked. “Between the first and second hole.” was the reply.
He then replied, “Wow! She must have been standing right over the hive.”

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Jokes about Women Sports Jokes

Ollie discovers he is good at painting portraits and his fame spreads throughout Minneapolis and Sаinт Paul. A beautiful woman’s husband’s birthday is fast approaching and she wants an original oil portrait with which to surprise her husband. She goes to Ollie and says, “Would you paint me in the nudе?”
“No,” Ollie replies. “I don’t do dat sorta ting.”
“But what if I double your fee?” asks the woman.
“Nope, sorry. Von’t do it.” replies Ollie.
“How about I give you five times what you normally get?” pleads the woman.
“Oh, okay den,” says Ollie, “But I’m keeping my socks on. I need a place ta put my brushes.”

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Jokes about Women

A women’s lib speaker was addressing a large group and said, “Where would man be today if it were not for woman?”
She paused a moment and looked around the room. “I repeat, where would man be today if it were not for woman?”
From the back of the room came a voice, “He’d be in the Garden of Eden eating strawberries.”

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Jokes about Women Men jokes

What has four legs and says boo?
A соw with a cold.

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Animal Jokes

What did the the owl devil say to the sinning owl?
Owl be dамnеd!

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Animal Jokes

The manager of a large city zoo was drafting a letter to order a pair of animals. He sat at his computer and typed the following sentence:
"I would like to place an order for two mongooses, to be delivered at your earliest convenience."
He stared at the screen, focusing on that odd word "mongooses." Then he deleted the word and added another, so that the sentence now read:
"I would like to place an order for two mongeese, to be delivered at your earliest convenience."
Again he stared at the screen, this time focusing on the new word, which seemed just as odd as the original one. Finally, he deleted the whole sentence and started all over. "Everyone knows no fully stocked zoo should be without a mongoose," he typed. "Please send us two of them."

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Animal Jokes