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Latest Jokes

As I cradled my wife in my arms after the car accident I knew that she didn’t have long.
“Is there anything I can do for you my darling?” I said
“Just….. one…… thing..” she struggled to speak.
“Anything. Anything at all” I urged,
“Could….. you….. stop smiling for one fuскing minute?”

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Sick and Death Jokes

Ebola has been in the US for 1 day and people are already wearing masks.
AIDS has been here for 55 years and fools still don’t use a condom

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Sick and Death Jokes

My wife turned to me during her mother’s funeral and hissed, “When we get home later, I’m going to make you fсuкing pay for this!”
For the life of me I couldn’t think of what I had done wrong.
Maybe it’s because I wasn’t sharing my popcorn.

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Sick and Death Jokes

I’ve just got back from an undertakers convention and the main topic was new ways of disposing of the dead
There was a lot of thinking outside of the box.

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Sick and Death Jokes

I pride myself on being more tolerant than I really should be with the general public.
With that being said, we are long overdue for another plague.

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Sick and Death Jokes

The inventor of dog treats has died earlier today.
He was a good boy. Yes he was

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Sick and Death Jokes

This Halloween the witches are all “Going Commando.”
It gives them a better grip on their broomstick

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Halloween Jokes

What does a panda ghost eat? Bam-BOO!

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Halloween Jokes

The lesson of Halloween is that pretending to be something you're not will lead to a sweet reward.

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Halloween Jokes Attitude Jokes

What do ghosts serve for dessert? I Scream.

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Halloween Jokes

I just got told by my dentist that he is homosexual.
Bloody Tooth Fairy!

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Gay and Lesbian Jokes

I keep getting mixed up between claustrophobia and homophobia.
Which is the one about being in a closet?

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Gay and Lesbian Jokes

Confused by your sexuality? Look in your trousers, if you have a реnis, your a bloke.
Although you may need to fuскing grow a pair of ваlls.

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Gay and Lesbian Jokes

I want you more then a Hagen-Daas on a hot summer day.

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Flirt jokes

Take an icecube to the bar, smash it and say:
"Now that I've broken the ice, will you sleep with me?"

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Flirt jokes

My idea of flirting is giving a girl 1 of my 10 tacos.

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Flirt jokes

If I followed you home, would you keep me?

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Flirt jokes

I don't want your candy, what I really want is your number.

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Flirt jokes

I think I've discovered my supersymmetric partner.

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Flirt jokes

Wanna dance? I can really put your inertia in motion.

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Flirt jokes