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Latest Jokes

On my birthday my girlfriend decided to wake me up with an оrаl.
Nearly suffocated.
Credit: Jimmy Carr

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Birthday Jokes

My dad's eyes filled with tears when I handed him his 80th birthday card
He looked at me and said "you know, one would've been enough"

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Birthday Jokes

I am an anti-vax kid and tomorrow's my 18th birthday.
This is the correct subreddit to post it yeah.

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Birthday Jokes

I know every joke there is! I'll guess what joke was made on your birthday!
You.

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Birthday Jokes

I hand my father his 50th birthday card...
He said "You know, one would've been enough..."

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Birthday Jokes

Where do you take an amish kid for their birthday party?
Build-A-Barn

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Birthday Jokes

What did one terrorist say to another terrorist on his birthday?
I hope you have a blast today

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Birthday Jokes

A pair of twins were in a cake shop...
They were looking for a birthday cake but just couldn’t decide on a topping.
Twin 1:
“I want chocolate”
Twin 2:
“I want skittles”
Twin 1:
“How about we do Rock Paper Scissors?”
Twin 2:
“Why would I want that on my cake?”

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Birthday Jokes

What did one nun say to the other on her birthday?
Let's celibate!

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Birthday Jokes

What's the WORST thing you could give to a professional athlete??
A Birthday Card!

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Birthday Jokes

What do you call the kids who are invited to Michael Jackson's birthday party?
Presents

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Birthday Jokes

It's my wife's birthday next week and I've managed to get her this year's must haves!
A 4-pack of toilet roll and a bag of Fusilli! She is going to be thrilled!

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Birthday Jokes

It's my wife's birthday so I've bought her the current must have present, took ages to find and even then had to fight to get it.
A 9 pack of toilet roll.

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Birthday Jokes

I'll be celebrating my birthday next month, but just for half a minute.
It's my thirty second birthday after all

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Birthday Jokes

I went to my friend Ahkmed’s birthday party
Let’s just say the pass the parcel got out of hand

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Birthday Jokes

My friend had a German themed birthday party.
It was boring.

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Birthday Jokes

Was talking with family the other day about how to pace yourself when you take shots on your 21st birthday.
The secret is to space them out.
...
I recommend at least 6 inches between shots.

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Birthday Jokes

My wife said she wanted to be surprised for her birthday
So I took her sister to Hawaii for a week

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Birthday Jokes

My son wanted to go whale watching for his birthday.
So we sat outside McDonald's.

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Birthday Jokes

So my family and I go past a nursing home...
There are balloons on the sign. My wife says "maybe someone had a birthday", my daughter says "maybe it's for a fundraiser", and then my son says "maybe someone they didn't like died and they are celebrating"

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Birthday Jokes