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Latest Jokes

Zelinski slap Putin

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Russia-Ukraine war jokes

Lady (to her doctor):
"What l am worried about is my height and not my weight."
Doctor:
"How come?"
Lady:
"According to my weight, my height should be 7 feet, 8 inches."

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Medical and Doctor Jokes One-Liner Jokes

What goes "Vroom... Screech... Vroom... Screech... Vroom... Screech?" A blonde at a flashing red light.

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Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes

Chuck Norris won't fight Justin Bieber because he doesn't hit girls.

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Chuck Norris Jokes One-Liner Jokes

Chuck Norris knows what the double rainbow means.

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Chuck Norris Jokes One-Liner Jokes

Chuck Norris shot Bon Jovi in the heart for giving love a bad name.

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Chuck Norris Jokes One-Liner Jokes

The doctor entered the room and advised his patient that a brain transplant was the only remedy.
"Fortunately" he continued, "this hospital has perfected the procedure,
However, it is not yet available on the National Health and you will
Therefore have to pay.
We have two brains in stock at the moment, a female brain costing £30,000 and a male brain at £100,000"
"Why is the male brain so expensive?" asked the patient.
"Oh, that's easy, male brains are hardly used."

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Medical and Doctor Jokes

The doctor had just completed his examination of the gorgeous red haired beauty.
"I would suggest to you, young lady," began the medic, as he regained some of his professional dignity, "that you discontinue some of your running around. Stop drinking so much, cut down on your smoking, and above all you will have to start eating properly and getting to bed early."
Then, as a pleasant afterthought, he added:
"Why not have dinner with me tonight? I'll see to it that you have the proper food and that you'll be in bed by 9:00!"

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Medical and Doctor Jokes

All Bill asked for was a little good-night kiss, but Anne haughtily rebuffed him with, "I don't do that sort of thing on my first date!"
"Well," Bill replied with sarcasm, "how about on your last date?"

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One-Liner Jokes

Researchers say they've discovered a tree extract that could help to prevent hеrреs... .. Must be a rubber tree...

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One-Liner Jokes

Boy 1:
"As long as you are in school, two things will always be your friends."
Boy 2:
"Who are they?
Boy1:
"Classwork and Homework!"

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One-Liner Jokes School Jokes

Just as a surgeon was finishing up an operation and was about to close, the patient awakes, sits up, and demands to know what is going on.
"I'm about to close," the surgeon says. The patient grabs the surgeon's hand and says,
"I'm not going to let you do that! I'll close my own incision!"
The doctor hands him the needle and thread and says,
"Suture self."

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Medical and Doctor Jokes

These are actual newspaper headlines gathered from papers across the country.
Queen Mary Having Bottom Scraped
Henshaw Offers Rare Opportunity to Goose Hunters
Women's Movement Called More Broad-Based
Antique Stripper to Display Wares at Store
Prostitutes Appeal to Pope
Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
Lawyers Give Poor Free Legal Advice
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
Fund Set Up for Beating Victim's Kin

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Lawyer Jokes School Jokes

I wish I was ethnic; Im nothing. Cause if youre Hispanic and you get angry, people are like, Hes got a Latin temper. But if youre a white guy and you get angry, people are like, That guys a jеrк.

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One-Liner Jokes

To win at intramural prison softball your team needs to jail at the right time.

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One-Liner Jokes

Do pro-choice advocates worry about nuclear proliferation?

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One-Liner Jokes

“What happened to the rich guy with the double сhin? He made a four сhin.”

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One-Liner Jokes

"Hey officer, how did the hackers escape?"
"No idea, they just ransomware!"

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One-Liner Jokes

I got a trophy wife. I know thats not right to say, cause if youre married thats your trophy. Im just saying not everybody got a first place trophy. Some people end up with a plaque. You marry the neighborhood hoochie, you get a participation ribbon.

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One-Liner Jokes

Do you know how cold the weather was today? It was so cold, I saw a lawyer with his hands in his own pockets.

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One-Liner Jokes Lawyer Jokes