Newest jokes - Page 2428

There are 5 known levels of Super-Saiyan.
Achieving the 6th level is known as "Going Chuck Norris."

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Chuck Norris Jokes

May 6th, 1945: A then five-year old Chuck Norris swam the Atlantic Ocean.
The next day, the Nazis surrendered...

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Chuck Norris Jokes Old People Jokes Travel and Tourist Jokes

I went to the movie theater the other day and in the front row was an old man and with him was his dachshund.
It was a sad, funny kind of film.
In the sad part, the dachshund cried his eyes out, and in the funny part, the dachshund laughed its head off. This happened all the way through the film.
After the film had ended, I decided to go and speak to the man.
"That's the most amazing thing I've seen," I said.
"That dachshund really seemed to enjoy the film."
The man turned to me and said,
"Yeah, it is. He hated the book."

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Animal Jokes Men jokes

Chuck Norris is the reason there is wind.
The air tries to get away from him as fast as possible.

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Chuck Norris Jokes Weather jokes

Why is sleeping with a man like a soap opera?
Just when it's getting interesting, they're finished until next time.

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Men jokes Life Jokes

How many lawyers does it take to grease a combine?
Only one if you run him through slowly!

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Lawyer Jokes

A man walks into the sheriff's office....
"I want to become a deputy!"
"Good, I want to you to catch this man" says the sheriff handling the man a wanted poster.
The poster reads:
'Last seen wearing a brown paper hat, brown paper shirt, brown paper pants, and brown paper boots.'
"What's he wanted for?" asked the hopeful yound man.
"Rustling."

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Office and Work Jokes Men jokes Police Officer Jokes

A farmer and his pig were driving down the road when a cop pulled him over.
The cop asked the farmer, "Didn't you know it is against the law to ride with a pig in the front of you truck?"
The farmer replied, "No, I didn't knowed that."
The cop ask the farmer where he was going and he said,
"To Memphis".
The cop said,
"I will let you off the hook this time if you promise to take the pig to the zoo when you get to Memphis."
So the farmer promised he would.
Several days later the cop spotted the farmer with the pig driving down the road and he pulled him over again.
The cop said "I thought I told you to take this pig to the zoo when you got to Memphis" and to this the farmer replied "I did and we had so much fun, I'm taking him to the circus."

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Police Officer Jokes

Lets face it, there are a lot of dumb people out there.
Sometimes you want to express how sтuрid they really are and here's how...
An intellect rivaled only by garden tools.
As smart as bait.
Doesn't have all his dogs on one leash.
Doesn't know much, but leads the league in nostril hair.
Elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor.
Forgot to pay his brain bill.
His belt doesn't go through all the loops.
If he had another brain, it would be lonely.
Missing a few buttons on his remote control.
Proof that evolution CAN go in reverse.
Receiver is off the hook.
Surfing in Nebraska.
An experiment in Artificial Stupidity.
A few beers short of a six-pack.
A few peas short of a casserole.
The cheese slid off his сrаскеr.
Warning: Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear.
Couldn't pour рiss out of a boot with instructions on the heel.
He fell out of the sтuрid tree and hit every branch on the way down.
Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.

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Men vs Women Jokes Men jokes

Ladies and Gentlemen, if there is anybody here who is feeling, worried, nervous or apprehensive it is probably because you just married John.

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Men vs Women Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Men jokes

A man walks into a bar, and orders a вееr.
As he sits there, the jar of nuts on the bar tells him what a nice shirt he is wearing.
Disturbed by this, he goes to the cigarette vending machine to buy a pack of smokes.
As he approaches the machine, it starts screaming and shouting at him.
He runs to the bar and explains this to the barman.
The barman apologizes and says "The peanuts are complimentary, but the cigarette machine is out of order"!

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Men jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes Bar and Bartender Jokes

After a heavy night at the pub, a drunken man decides to sleep off his drunkenness at a local hotel.
He approaches the reception desk, takes care of the formalities and heads off to his suite.
Several minutes later, the drunк staggers back to the reception desk and demands his room be changed.
"But sir," said the clerk, "you have the best room in the hotel."
"I insist on another room!!!" said the drunк.
"Very good, sir. I'll change you from 502 to 525.
Would you mind telling me why you don't like 502?" asked the clerk.
"Well, for one thing," said the drunк, "it's on fire."

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Men jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes Bar and Bartender Jokes Hotel Jokes

A motorcycle cop pulls over a driver.
‘Have you been drinking, sir?’ says the cop.
‘Why?’ says the driver.
‘Is there a fат chick in my car?’

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Drinking and Drunk Jokes Fat Jokes

Why do women always fаrт only when they go to the bathroom?
They have to вlоw dry—and there's nothing to shake.

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Jokes about Women Gross Jokes Fart Jokes

I love my cat.
My cat does not care.

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Animal Jokes

My wife and I lead a quiet life.
The last time we went out together was when the gas boiler exploded.

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Marriage and Family Jokes

I need your help making a cream sauce.

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Dirty jokes

Lady, how many sеx partners have you had?
Three.. oh no, wait... nine - I have forgotten one case.

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Dirty jokes Sex Jokes

Chuck Norris helps little old ladies cross the street...
Bad guys get kicked to the curb!

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Chuck Norris Jokes Old People Jokes

Kids dream about having superpowers.
Superpowers dream about having Chuck Norris.

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Kids Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes

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