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Latest Jokes

“I put the ‘pro’ in ‘procrastinate.’”

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Funny sayings

“I’m not lazy. I’m relaxed.”

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Funny sayings

“There’s no “we” in fries.”

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Funny sayings

“I don’t give a ship!”

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Funny sayings

“Beat the 5 o’clock rush, leave work at noon.”

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Funny sayings

“Wine + dinner = winner”

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Funny sayings

“He who laughs last is a bit of a slow thinker.”

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Funny sayings

“Doing nothing is hard, you never know when you’re done.”

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Funny sayings

“Dogs have beloved masters. Cats have waiting staff.”

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Funny sayings

“Come over to the dark side…we’ve got candy.”

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Funny sayings

“Don’t drink while driving – you might spill the вееr.”

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Funny sayings Beer Jokes

“I’m never late. The others are just too early!”

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Funny sayings

“Change is inevitable, except from a parking meter.”

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Funny sayings

“I’m not lazy. I’m just highly motivated to do nothing.”

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Funny sayings

“I am an example to others. A bad example.”

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Funny sayings

“He who wakes up early, yawns all day long.”

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Funny sayings

“I am nobody. Nobody is perfect. I am perfect.”

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Funny sayings

“I speak fluent ironic with a solid sarcastic accent.”

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Funny sayings

“I get enough exercise pushing my luck.”

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Funny sayings

“The shortest horror story: Monday.”

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Funny sayings