Latest Jokes

Мъж отива при лекаря и казва, че отстрани на бедрата му са се появили зелени петна. Докторът: - Добре. Дай да видя. Докторът преглежда мъжа и пита: - Случайно да живееш с циганка? - Да, така... C'est l'histoire d'une femme qui se réveille avec deux points noirs à l'intérieur des cuisses. Elle va voir son médecin qui après une analyse minutieuse de la chose va chercher un pot rempli... Une jeune femme se rend chez son médecin traitant : - Docteur, je viens vous consulter car j'ai des bleus inexplicables sur l'intérieur des cuisses. Mais c'est pas douloureux - Enlevez votre... B-buna ziua domnule doctor. D-buna ziua,cu ce va pot fi de folos? B-domnule doctor, din cand in cand,imi apar doua pete verzi intr-e picioare,sus langa pasarica. Ce credeti ca ar putea fi? Doctorul... Atnāk vīrs pie ārsta un saka,ka viņam sānos uz gurniem esot parādījušies zaļi plankumi. Ārsts: - Ok. Izģērbieties,parādiet,kas jums tur ir. Ārsts apskata vīrieti un jautā: - Vai jūs,gadījumā...
Gypsy jokes
Medical and Doctor Jokes
As a trucker stops for a red light, a blonde catches up. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door.
The trucker lowers the window, and she says "Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load."
The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street. When the truck stops for another red light, the girl again catches up again. She jumps out of her car, runs up and knocks on the door.
Again, the trucker lowers the window. As if they've never spoken, the blonde says brightly, "Hi my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!"
Shaking his head, the trucker ignores her again and continues down the street. At the third red light, the same thing happens again. All out of breath, the blonde gets out of her car, runs up, knocks on the truck door.
The trucker lowers the window. Again she says "Hi, my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!"
When the light turns green, the trucker revs up and races to the next light. When he stops this time, he hurriedly gets out of the truck, and runs back to the blonde.
He knocks on her window, and as she lowers it, he says... "Hi, my name is Kevin, and I'm driving the SALT TRUCK!"
Blonde Jokes
A blonde goes for a job interview in an office. The interviewer decides to start with the basics. 'So, Miss, can you tell us your age, please?' The blonde counts carefully on her fingers for about 30 seconds before replying, 'Ehhhh .. 22!' The interviewer tries another straightforward one to break the ice. 'And can you tell us your height, please?' The young lady stands up and produces a measuring tape from her handbag. She then traps one end under her foot and extends the tape to the top of her head. She checks the measurement and announces, 'Five foot two!' This isn't looking good so the interviewer goes for the real basics. 'And uhh, just to confirm for our records, your name please?' The blonde bobs her head from side to side for about twenty seconds, mouthing something silently to herself, before replying, 'Mandy!' The interviewer is completely baffled at this stage, so he asks, 'Just out of curiosity, Miss. We can understand your counting on your fingers to work out your age, and the measuring tape for your height is obvious, but what were you doing when we asked you your name?' 'Ohh that!', replies the blonde, 'That's just me running through 'Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you...."
Blonde Jokes
A police officer was being cross-examined by a defense attorney during a felony trial.
The lawyer was trying to undermine the police officer's credibility ...
'Officer --- did you see my client fleeing the scene?'
'No sir. But I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender, running several blocks away.'
'Officer, who provided this description?'
'The officer who responded to the scene.'
'A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?'
'Yes, sir. With my life.'
'With your life? Let me ask you this then officer. Do you have a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?'
'Yes sir, we do!'
'And do you have a locker in the room?'
'Yes, sir, I do.'
'And do you have a lock on your locker?'
'Yes, sir.'
'Now, why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with these same officers?'
'You see, sir, we share the building with the court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room.'
The courtroom EXPLODED with laughter, and a prompt recess was called.
Lawyer Jokes
A man walked into a therapist's office looking very depressed.
"Doc, you've got to help me. I can't go on like this."
"What's the problem?" the docotor inquired.
"Well, I'm 35 years old and I still have no luck with the ladies. No matter how hard I try, I just seem to scare them away."
"My friend, this is not a serious problem. You just need to work on your self-esteem. Each morning, I want you to get up and run to the bathroom mirror. Tell yourself that you are a good person, a fun person, and an attractive person. But say it with real conviction. Within a week you'll have women buzzing all around you."
The man seemed content with this advice and walked out of the office a bit excited. Three weeks later he returned with the same downtrodden expression on his face.
"Did my advice not work?" asked the doctor.
"It worked alright. For the past several weeks I've enjoyed some of the best moments in my life with the most fabulous looking women."
"So, what's your problem?"
"I don't have a problem," the man replied. "My wife does."
Medical and Doctor Jokes
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Blonde Jokes