if (!string.IsNullOrEmpty(Model.PrevPageFullUrl)) { } if (!string.IsNullOrEmpty(Model.NextPageFullUrl)) { } Newest jokes - Page 493

Latest Jokes

They say every piece of chocolate you eat shortens your life by 2 minutes. I did the math. Seems I died in 1543.

0 0

Jokes

Do people talk about you behind your back?
Simply fаrт.

0 0

Jokes

I am nobody. Nobody is perfect. I am perfect.
If I can still lie on the ground without having to hold myself, I'm not drunк.

0 0

Jokes

My relationship is like an iPad.
I don't have an iPad.

0 0

Jokes

Need something cool to say because you just slipped and fell?
“Yep, gravity still works!”

0 0

Jokes

A jellyfish has existed as a species for 500 million years, surviving just fine without a brain.
That gives hope to quite a few people.

1 0

Jokes

If you had to decide between a diet and a piece of chocolate, would you prefer dark, white or milk chocolate?

0 0

Diet and Weight Loss Jokes

... and out of the chaos, a sentence came to me:
"Laugh and be happy, it could be worse!"
... and so I laughed and was happy and it really became worse.

0 0

Jokes

According to my mirror I am pregnant.
The father is Nutella.

0 0

Jokes

First rule of Sundays: If you can’t reach it from your couch, you don’t need it.

486 0

Jokes

Of course I have a talent. I'm really good in bed. Sometimes I sleep more than 9 hours in one go.

1 0

Jokes

Hearing voices in your head is normal.
Listening to them is quite common. Arguing with them – acceptable. It is only when you lose that argument that you get in real trouble.

0 0

Jokes

Sometimes I drink water - just to surprise my liver.

0 0

Jokes

I’ve always thought my neighbors were quite nice people.
But then they put a password on their Wi-Fi.

0 0

Jokes

the 17th century!
The boy sagged in relief: “Oh, good that it wasn’t new.”

0 0

Jokes

Everybody knows 40 is the new 30, right?
But the police officer giving me a speeding ticket couldn’t be persuaded.

0 0

Police Officer Jokes

She: I have a doctor’s appointment today but I really don’t want to go...
He: Just call in sick then.

0 0

Medical and Doctor Jokes

How many gorillas can fit into a car?
Eight.
How many chickens can fit into the car?
None, the car is already full of gorillas.

0 0

Jokes

I forgot my cell phone when I went to the toilet yesterday.
We have 245 tiles.

1 0

Jokes

I’ve been really depressed lately. A friend told me I should go to the petting zoo perhaps, to cheer up.
I went today, but not one person would sтrоке me.

0 0

Jokes