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Teacher: Why did you not study?
Student: A year has 365 days for you to study. After taking away 52 Sundays, there are only 313 days left. There are 50 days in the summer that is way too hot to work so there are only 263 days left. We sleep 8 hours a day, in a year, that counts up to 122 days so now we're left with 141 days. If we fooled around for only 1 hour a day, 15 days are gone, so we are left with 126 days. We spend 2 hours eating each day, 30 days are used in this way in the year, and we are left with 96 days in our year. We spend 1 hour a day speaking to friends and family, that takes away 15 days more and we are left with 81 days. Exams and tests take up at least 35 days in your year, hence you are only left with 46 days. Taking off approximately 40 days of holidays, you are only left with 6 days. Say you are sick for a minimum of 3 days, you're left with 3 days in the year to study! Let's say you only go out for 2 days... You're left with 1 day. But that 1 day is your birthday.
Wie lange Arbeitet ein Lehrer im Jahr? Што вели шефот кога му бараш покачување? - Квоооооо? Искате повишение на заплатата? Ебаси, ма много нагли станахте, бе!
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Charlie was visiting an old friend and his wife for dinner. When the time came to leave, his car wouldn't start, and it was too late to call the local service station.
The husband urged Charlie to stay over. There was no spare bed in the house; there wasn't even a sofa. So Charlie would have to sleep with the husband and wife. No sooner had the husband fallen asleep when the wife taped Charlie on the shoulder and motioned for him to come over to her. "I couldn't do that," he whispered. "Your husband is my best friend!" "Listen, sugar," she whispered back, "there ain't nothing in the whole wide world could wake hime up now." "I can't believe that," Charlie said. "Certainly if I get on top of you and sсrеw you, he'll wake up won't he? "Sugar, he certainly won't. If you don't believe me, pluck a hair out of his аsshоlе and see if that wakes him." Charlie did just that. He was amazed when the husband remained asleep. So he climbed over to the wife's side of the bed and fuскеd her.
When he finished, he climbed back to his own side. It wasn't long before she tapped him on the shoulder and beckoned him over again. Again he pulled a hair to determine if his old friend was asleep. This went on eight times during the night. Each time Charlie sсrеwеd the woman, he first pulled out one of the husband's аsshоlе hairs.
The ninth time he pulled a hair, the husband awoke and muttered: "Listen, Charlie, old pal, I don't mind you fuскing my wife, but for Pete's sake, stop using my аss for a scoreboard!"
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Die Wunderlampe На един самотен остров останали три блондинки. Търговски представител, администатор и управител на една фирма отишли да обядват заедно. A blonde, a brunette and a redhead were stuck on an island for many, many years until one day they found a magic lamp. They rubbed it hard and out popped a genie. He said that he could only give three wishes so since there were three girls, each... Three men stranded on an island. They were walking across the sand when they came across a magic lamp; they rubbed the lamp and out came a genie. The genie said "you have three wishes but make it... Están tres náufragos solos en una isla desierta y se encuentran una lámpara maravillosa. El genio les dice que les va a conceder un deseo a cada uno. El primero dice: - Deseo irme con mi familia y... Eran tres hombres en una isla desierta, y de pronto se encuentran una lámpara mágica, y los tres hombres la frotan, de pronto sale el genio de la lámpara y les dice a los tres hombres que les va a... Three guys are stuck on a deserted island when one of them finds a lamp on the beach. He picks it up and gives it a little rub and a genie pop out. The genie looks at the three guys and says: "I... Esto son tres amigas que se encuentran en una isla desierta, una es morena, otra pelirroja y la otra rubia y se encuentran una lampara y una de ellas dice: - Yo he oído que si se frota sale un...
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