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This man is sitting in a bar and notices two lovely women across the way. He calls the bartender over and says, “I’d like to buy those two ladies a drink.” The bartender replies, “It won’t do you any good.”
The man, with a confused look on his face says, “It doesn’t matter, I want to buy those women a drink.” The bartender delivers the drinks to the ladies and the ladies acknowledge the drink with a nod of their heads.
About a half-hour later, the man approaches the women and says, “I’d like to buy you two another drink.” The women both reply, “It won’t do you any good.”
The man says, “I don’t understand. What do you mean it won’t do me any good?” The first lady says,
“We’re lеsвiаns.” The man replies, “Lеsвiаns? What are lеsвiаns?” The second woman replies, “Lеsвiаns… We like to liск рussys.”
The man says, “Bartender, three beers for us lеsвiаns.”
В бара влиза мъж. Влегува маж во бар, седнува до две убави девојки и нарачува: Влиза мъж в бар, настанява се до две ослепително красиви момичета и поръчва: Влегува Цветко во бар, седнува до две многу убави девојки и порачува:
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An extremely modest man was in the hospital for a series of tests, the last of which had left his воdily systems extremely upset.
Upon making several false alarm trips to the bathroom, he decided the latest episode was another and stayed put.
He suddenly filled his bed with diarrhea and was embarrassed beyond his ability to remain rational.
In a complete loss of composure he jumped out of bed, gathered up the bed sheets, and threw them out the hospital window.
A drunк was walking by the hospital when the sheets landed on him. He started yelling, cursing, and swinging his arms violently trying to get the unknown things off, and ended up with the soiled sheets in a tangled pile at his feet.
As the drunк stood there, unsteady on his feet, staring down at the sheets, a hospital security guard, (barely containing his laughter), and who had watched the whole incident, walked up and asked,”What the fсuк is going on here?”
The drunк, still staring down replied:”I think I just beat the fсuкing sh1t out of a ghost.”
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I am Funny but sad. I submit jokes you’ll love. anyway…
Little Jimmy asked his mom if he could take a bath with her since he was scared if being alone. She said “sure just dont look up”. He looked up and said " woah what are those?". She replied " those are just headlights." He looked down and said “what is that?” She said that’s just a bush." The next day mommy wasnt home so he asked to take a shower with his papa instead. He said “okay but don’t look up.” He looked up and said “woah what is that?” His papa replied “that’s just a snake.” Later that night he asked to sleep with his parents. They said “okay just dont look under the covers.” After a while he grew bored and went under the covers. Jimmy screamed “mom turn on the headlights the snake is in the Bush!!”
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