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Latest Jokes

The only Christmas present Chuck Norris ever gives is allowing you to live.

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Chuck Norris Jokes Christmas Jokes

Yo mama so fат, when your dad tried eating your mom's рussy his head stuck in.

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Sex Jokes Yo Momma Jokes Dirty jokes

You might be a redneck if, your toilet paper has page numbers on it.

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Redneck jokes

My wife asked if I would give it to her "doggy style."
So I took a dump on the floor and chewed up her shoes.

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Drinking and Drunk Jokes

In communist Russia there is no discrimination. White, black, African, American, British and Asian. They all go to Gulag eventually

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USA Jokes Russian Jokes American Jokes

Americans won’t have a Thanksgiving Dinner this year. Why not? They sent their turkey to the White House.

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Donald Trump Jokes USA Jokes American Jokes

A man and a woman who have never met before find themselves in the same sleeping carriage of a train.
After the initial embarrassment, they both manage to get to sleep, the woman on the top bunk, the man on the lower.
In the middle of the night the woman leans over and says, "I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm awfully cold and I was wondering if you could possibly pass me another blanket."
The man leans out and with a glint in his eye said "I've got a better idea, let's pretend we're married."
"Why not," giggles the woman.
"Good," he replies.
"Get your own blanket."

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Jokes about Women Marriage and Family Jokes Men jokes

Stormtrooper: What should I do about my overdue library book?
Palpatine: Renew it!

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Star Wars Jokes

What did the psychiatrist say to the android kleptomaniac?
DON'T keep taking the tablets!

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Programmer Jokes Computer Jokes

Chuck Norris once heard that nothing can кill him, so he tracked down nothing and killed it.

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Chuck Norris Jokes Sick and Death Jokes

Teacher tests Little Johnny, “OK, Johnny, create a sentence which starts with ‘I’.”
Little Johnny confidently starts, “I is…”
Teacher snaps, “No, Little Johnny. You must always say, ‘I am’.”
Little Johnny sighs, “Yes ma’am. ‘I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.’"

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School Jokes

Why aren’t there any closets in southern churches? Closets have coat hangers.

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Church jokes

What do you do when you finish a magazine at a hospital?
Reload and keep shooting

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There were these two guys working late in a morgue, when one guy said, “Hey man there is a woman in there with a shrimp in her vаginа!”
The other asked, “What is a shrimp doing a dead woman's vаginа? Let me go see.”
Both of them went in the room with the woman, and they both curiosly looked.
Finally, the second man said, “You idiот, this ain't no shrimp it's a сliтоris.”
And the other man replied, “Well, it tasted like shrimp to me.”

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Jokes about Women Office and Work Jokes Dirty jokes Men jokes

What did the male squirrel say when the female attacked him...
Get away from my nuts.

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Jokes about Women Animal Jokes Men jokes

There are 11 people hanging onto a rope that comes down from an airplane. 10 of them are blonde, and one is a brunette. They all decide that one person should get off because if they don't, the rope will break and everyone will die. No one can decide who should go, so finally the brunette delivers a very touching speech, ending with the words, "I'll get off." The blondes, all moved by the brunette's speech, start clapping. Problem solved.

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Blonde Jokes Aviation Jokes

Why did Barack Obama cross the road?
So he could dish out stolen tax money to his welfare queens.

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Money jokes Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road Jokes Political Jokes American Presidents Humor

A school in the United States is on fire.
One fireman is throwing the kids through the window, while the other one is standing on the ground and catching them.
After half of an hour the upper fireman asks:
Hey man, why aren't you catching black kids?
Oh dамn, I thought these were the burnt ones.

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School Jokes Kids Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Men jokes

Doctor:
"What seems to be your trouble?"
Patient:
"When I get up I feel dizzy for one hour."
Doctor:
"Try getting up one hour later."

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Medical and Doctor Jokes

A man is talking to the tax inspector who’s come to review his records.
The inspector says, ‘As a citizen you have an obligation to pay taxes, and we expect you to pay them with a smile.’
‘Thank God for that,’ replies the man.
‘I thought you were going to ask for cash.’

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Money jokes God Jokes Men jokes