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Jesus and Моsеs are out playing golf one day. When they come to the 14th hole, which is a particularly nasty 310 yard, par 4, with a water hazard in front of the green.

Moses leads off, and drives a beautiful shot straight down the fairway, laying-up 10 yards short of the water hazard.

Jesus steps up to the tee, and tells Моsеs, “I’m going for the green. I saw Arnold Palmer make this same shot last year”. Моsеs advises Jesus he’ll never make the green, and to lay-up short.

Jesus tells Моsеs, “No, I saw Arnold Palmer make this shot, and I know if he can do it, so can I”.

So Jesus tees up the ball, hits it, and watches it land in the middle of the water hazard. Jesus turns to Моsеs, asking him to please part the waters so he can retrieve his golf ball. Моsеs parts the waters, allowing Jesus to retrieve his ball.

Jesus comes back to the tee, and tells Моsеs, “I’m going to try it again. If Arnold Palmer can make this shot, I know I can too”. Jesus tees up his golf ball, hits it, and again watches it land in the middle of the water hazard. He turns to Моsеs, and asks him to part the waters so he can retrieve his golf ball. Моsеs says OK, and parts the waters, so Jesus can retrieve his golf ball again.

Jesus comes back, and once again tees up the ball telling Моsеs he can make the shot, because if Arnold Palmer can do it, he can too. Моsеs tells Jesus, if he hits the ball into the water this time, he’s not going to help him get it back.

Jesus takes a mighty swing, and watches the ball fall just short of the green, once again landing in the water. He turns to Моsеs, and asks him to part the waters, and Моsеs tells him no, he had to retrieve the ball on his own. So Jesus walks out onto the water searching for his golf ball.

About this time, the follow-on foursome approaches the 14th hole, and sees Jesus walking on water. One of the foursome asks Моsеs who the guy walking on water thinks he is! Jesus Сhrisт?

Moses responds, “no, Arnold Palmer”.
Golf jokes
При ветеринаря: Фермер звернувся до ветеринара за порадою. — Є у мене кінь. Часом ходить нормально, часом накульгує. Що ви порадите? — Коли наступного разу буде ходити нормально - продавайте:
Farmer Jokes Veterinarian Jokes
Sing To the tune of Kokomo
Your a beautiful girl
And your pants are on so tight
That when you stand just right
I can see it all
When your on the beach
And your bikini’s soaking wet
I see a fuzzy silhouette
As i look down below
I see your camel toe
Your biscuit, your beavage
I see your соотеr cleavage
Your monkey, your muffin
You aint hiddin’ nothin’
Your соосhiе, your flapper
Your showin’ off your snapper
Your camel toe
It looks alright so baby let it show
Looks like a big taco
I see your camel toe
Merci madame, voila le bearded clam
I could really go
For a sideways sloppy joe
Or a tuna caserole
Baby don’t you know
I never thought i’d see
So much of your anatomy
Your jeans are so tight
I’m learning gynecology
I see your camel toe
Your lавiа,your vulva
Ooh ya know i love ya
Vаginа, nothin’ could be finer.
It’s furry, it’s fluffy, lookin’ kinda puffy.
Your camel toe
It looks alright so baby let its show
Looks like a big taco
I see your camel toe
Merci madame, voila le bearded clam
Your biscuit, your beavage
I see your соотеr cleavage
Your monkey, your muffin
You aint hiddin’ nothin’
Your соосhiе, your flapper
Your showin’ off your snapper
Your camel toe
It looks alright so baby let it show
Looks like a big taco
I see your camel toe
Funny Poems