Animal Jokes

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There are 2 cats. The one two three cat and the un deux trois cat. They had a race across the English Channel. Which cat won? The one two three cat because the un deux trois cat cinq.

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Animal Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes

A bear is chasing a bunny when all of a sudden a djinni appears and grants them each three wishes. The bear, being very selfish, wishes that all the bears in his forest were female and instantly it is done. Then the bunny wishes he had a lifetime supply of carrots in his backyard. For his next turn, the bear wishes that all the other bears in his entire nation were female. The bunny wishes for a motorcycle. Finally on the last wish, the bear wishes that all the other bears on the whole earth were female. The bunny wishes that the bear was gаy and rides home on his motorcycle.

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Jokes about Women Animal Jokes

How can you tell which end of a worm is which? Tickle it in the middle and see which end smiles.

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Animal Jokes

Why are worms great at poker? They have five hearts.

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Animal Jokes

Did you know there is a species of antelope capable of jumping higher then the average house due to its powerful hind legs and the fact that the average house can't jump?

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Animal Jokes

NASA put a bunch of cows into orbit. They call it the herd shot round the world.

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Animal Jokes

What do you give a pig who wins a medal at the Olympic games?
A pork medallion.

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Animal Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes

A man's big rottweiler has been losing its vision, so the owner brings the dog to the vet. The veterinarian picks the dog up and says,
"I will have to put him down." The owner asks, "Why? Because he's blind?" The vet replies,
"No, he's heavy. I need to put him down."

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Animal Jokes Men jokes

Yo momma's so fат, when she went to the zoo, elephants began throwing peanuts at her.

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Animal Jokes Yo Momma Jokes Fat Jokes

An old woman walks into a butcher shop and asks for a New Mexico duck. The butcher grabs the nearest duck and hands it to the old lady. She puts her finger up its аss, pulls it out, smells it, and says,
"You must be new here because this is no New Mexico duck." The butcher replies,
"Yep, I am new here." The old lady comes back with, "Well, where are you from?" The butcher drops his pants, spreads his вuтт cheeks and says,
"I don't know, why don't you tell me."

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Jokes about Women Animal Jokes

What disease do elderly dinosaurs get? Jurassic Parkinsons.

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Animal Jokes

A man dining at a restaurant flagged down his waiter and said,
"Excuse me. I have a bee in my soup." The waiter replied, "Yes sir. Didn't you order the alphabet soup?"

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Animal Jokes Men jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes

What do you call a bear that is cold? A: A burr.

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Animal Jokes

A bear walks into a bar. He says,
"I'll have a gin... ... ... ... and tonic." The bartender says,
"Sure, but what about the big pause?" The bear says,
"I was born with them."

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Animal Jokes

A мidgет with a lisp goes to a farmer to buy a horse. He looks over the horse to inspect it, and says to the farmer, "I'd like to sthee its teeth." So the farmer picks him up to give him a view of the teeth. Then, the мidgет says,
"I'd like to sthee its ears." Again, the farmer picks him up to view the horses ears. Then the мidgет says,
"I'd like to sthee its тwат."
"Excuse me?" says the farmer. The мidgет says,
"I'd like to sthee its тwат." So the farmer picks him up and shoves his head up the horse's тwат. The мidgет's legs are flailing violently, and he’s screaming in there, so the farmer pulls him out and puts him down. The мidgет looks at the farmer and says,
"I think I'll rephrase that, I'd like to sthee it run."

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Animal Jokes

What do you call a duck that steals?
A Robber Duck.

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Animal Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes

What did the chicken say when it got to the library? "Book book book book book book book..."

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Animal Jokes

A man walk into a bar and says,
"Give me something to drink just no vоdка." The bartender asks, "Why? That's your typical drink of choice." The man replies,
"Because last night I got drunк and blew Chunks." The bartender says,
"Well, it's normal to вlоw chunks if you drink too much. The man says,
"No, Chunks is my dog."

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Animal Jokes Men jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes

How does a соw sneak off a farm?
Right pasteurize.

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Animal Jokes

Two caged circus lions break free and corner a clown in his dressing room. One lion says to the other, "Forget it, those things taste funny."

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Animal Jokes