Animal Jokes

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A policeman was directing traffic at a busy intersection when he observed a blind man and his seeing-eye dog waiting to cross.
To his horror, he watched as the seeing-eye dog bolted across the street, dragging the blind man behind him.
On the other side of the road, the man pulled out a cookie and offered it to his dog.
The officer ran to the blind man and said, "Don't you realize your dog could have killed you, and now you're going to reward him?"
The blind man said to the policeman, "Why, no sir, I'm just trying to find out where his head is so I can kick his аss."

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Animal Jokes Dog jokes

Q: What do you get when 100 rabbits stand in a row and 99 take a step back?
A: A receding hare line.

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Animal Jokes

Q: What do you call a dog wearing ear muffs?
A: Anything you want - he can't hear you.

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Animal Jokes Dog jokes

Why did the rooster cross the road?
Because the chicken was on vacation!

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Animal Jokes Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road Jokes

Q: If a rooster's on top of a barn door and lays an egg, does the egg fall on the north or the south side?
A: Roosters don't lay eggs.

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Animal Jokes

Q: What do you get when you cross a rooster and an owl?
A: A c**k that stays up all night.

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Animal Jokes

Why did the rooster cross the basketball court?
It heard that the referee was blowing fouls.

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Animal Jokes

Q: If your donkey bites my rooster's feet off, what do we have?
A: Two feet of my соск in your аss.

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Animal Jokes

Q: What did the snail say when it caught a ride on the back of the turtle as it was crossing the road?
A: "Yahoo!"

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Animal Jokes

Why did the chicken cross the road?
To show the possum how. (How many dead chickens have you seen along the road?)

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Animal Jokes Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road Jokes

Q: Why did the chicken stop in the middle of the road?
A: It wanted to lay it on the line.

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Animal Jokes

Q: Why did the frog cross the road?
A: It didn't - it got run over halfway across.

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Animal Jokes Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road Jokes

Q: Why did the stoner cross the road?
A: Who else would follow a chicken?

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Animal Jokes Food Jokes Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road Jokes

A black соw was standing in the middle of the road.
A man was hauling аss around a corner with no headlights on. He slams on the brakes at just the right time to miss the соw. How did the guy see the соw? It was daytime.

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Animal Jokes

Q: What do you call a соw with a twitch?
A: Beef jerky.

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Animal Jokes Sex Jokes

Q: What do you get when you cross a raven with a mad dog?
A: A ravin' lunatic.

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Animal Jokes Money jokes

A bear jumps out of a bush and starts chasing two hikes. They both start running for their lives, but then one of them stops to put on his running shoes.
His friends says, "What are you doing? You can't outrun a bear!"
His friend replies, "I don't have to outrun the bear; I only have to outrun you!"

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Animal Jokes American Presidents Humor

Q; Why did the ram fall off the cliff?
A: Because he didn't see the ewe turn.

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Animal Jokes

Why did the raccoon cross the road?
He didn't, he got hit by a car.

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Animal Jokes

Q: Why did the chewing gum cross the road?
A: He was stuck to the chicken's foot.

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Animal Jokes Gross Jokes Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road Jokes Sex Jokes Baby Jokes