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Animal Jokes

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Why did the dog 🐶 wake up tired?
It had a ruff night.
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When Albert Einstein was making the rounds of the speaker’s circuit, he usually found himself eagerly longing to get back to his laboratory work. One night as they were driving to yet another rubber-chicken dinner, Einstein mentioned to his driver (a man who somewhat resembled Einstein in looks & manner) that he was tired of speechmaking.
“I have an idea, boss,” his driver said. “I’ve heard you give this speech so many times. I’ll bet I could give it for you.” Einstein laughed loudly and said, “Why not? Let’s do it!”
When they arrived at the dinner, Einstein donned the driver’s cap and jacket and sat in the back of the room. The driver gave a beautiful rendition of Einstein’s speech and even answered a few questions
Expertly.
Then a supremely pompous professor asked an extremely esoteric question about anti-matter formation, digressing here and there to let everyone in the audience know that he was nobody’s fool. Without missing a beat, the driver fixed the professor with a steely stare and said, “Sir, the answer to that question is so simple that I will let my driver, who is sitting in the back, answer it for me.”
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Why do cheetahs have spots? Chickenpox!
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Why did the fastest cat get kicked out of school
He was a cheetah
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How did the cheetah greet other animals?
Cheetah: Nice to eat you.
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Why do cheetahs always win? Because they cheat
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Why did the cheetah always cheetah against the lion? Because she knew the lion was always lion.
#Worst jokes ever
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Why did every one suggest that the cheetah eat all the pumpkins?
Because he cheated at everything
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My favorite species is a cheetah because
Ima cheet-ah on the test.
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The cheetah had a race with a lion and the cheetah won, lion was like why you always a cheetah the cheetah was like why you always lion (lying).
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I like penguins
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What did PETA say when a cheetah won 5 million dollars?
You cant beetah the cheetah
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What food does a cheetah eat?
Fast food
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Octo means 8 and an octopus has 8 legs… so where did the pus come from.
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Why did the octopus cross the road?
Cuz he was on the same side as a sushi resturant
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A man walks into a bar with his pet octopus and proudly claims the animal can play any musical instrument. The bartender pulls out a guitar from behind the bar and gives it to the octopus, which plays an amazing solo. Just then a scotsman walks into the bar with a set of bagpipes. The octopus grabs the instrument and wrestles around with it on the ground, flailing about making a horrible sound. The bartender says “Hey, looks like he can’t play that!”, and the octopus says, “Play it? As soon as I get it’s pajamas off, I’m gonna fuск it!”
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What sea creature can add up? A octoplus
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What’s a kind of cat that lives in the water? Octopus.
- ___
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What did the octopus say to the other? Let’s hold hands by hands by hands by hands by hands by hands by hands by hands.
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What do u call a scared octopus
A octopussy
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