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Animal Jokes

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Why do women have legs? Because they would leave snail tracks where ever they went.
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One day a snail got robbed by two turtles. The cops arrived and arrested the woman for killing her cheating husband, and the son was sent to child services. (Moral - no one cares about the frkn snail and turtles)
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Klingelt eine Schnecke an einer Haustür. Ein Mann macht auf. Sagt die Schnecke zu dem Mann: A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. Three years later, there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says "What the hell was that all about?" One day a man heard knocking at his door. He opened the door only to see a small snail sitting there smiling. The guy picked the snail up and threw it as far as he possibly could. Three years... En man sitter i sitt hus när det knackar på dörren. Han öppnar dörren och ser en snigel på trappen. Han tar upp snigeln och kastar den så långt bort han kan. Tre år senare knackar det på dörren... This snail crawls up to this bar as it was closing. The snail pounds and pounds on the door until the bartender finally opens the door. The bartender looks around and sees nothing until the snail... Klingelt 'ne Schnecke bei einem Mann an der Tür. Der macht auf, sieht die Schnecke und tritt sie die Treppe runter. Sechs Monate später klingelt die Schnecke wieder bei dem Mann und fragt: "Du, was...
A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. Three years later there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says: ‘What the hеll was that all about?’
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“Have You Ever Heard Of The Snail That Never Gives Charity?”
“Yeah, He Is So Shellfish!”
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Do you know how a snail has a “nail” why can’t it be a nut?
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A turtle was walking down the street when all of a sudden a snail came up to him and robbed him. When the policemen showed up and asked him what happened, he responded ‘’ I don’t know it all happened so fast’’.
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A man opened a snail farm.
He said that it is a slow moving business.
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What is the name of the bear capitol?
Koala Lumpur
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What do you do if you bump into a koala
You koalagize to it.
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Why did the koala go to bed?Because it was leafing
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Why did the manager hire the marsupial?
Because he was koala-fied!
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Q:What did one koala say to the other?
A:Hows it hanging.
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Why did the koala climb the tree?
To get to the other branch
He made it don’t worry
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Why isn’t a koala a bear? It doesn’t have the koalafications
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Why did the boy get a Koala? He had the Koalaficatians
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Q:Why did the first Koala Fall off the tree A: Because it was dead
Why did the second Koala fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead too.
Q:Why did the third Koala fall off the tree A: Because it was hit by the other two Koalas on the way down
Q:Why did the fourth Koala fall off the tree A: Because it thought it was a game and joined in
Why did the fifth Koala fall off the tree A: Because it was curious to see where the others were going
Why did the sixth Koala fall off the tree A: It was tied to the fifth koala
Why did the seventh Koala fall off the tree A: Peer group pressure
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Why was the Koala Bear so clever?
Because he had good koalifications!!!
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Why didn’t the koala make the finals?. It got diskoalafide
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How do you get a Koala to fall asleep?
Sing a koala-by.
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We just got a new chicken-proof lawn, it’s impeccable.
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