Animal Jokes

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A swan, a goose and a реnguin walked into a bar… I DUCKed.

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What’s is a duck favorite drink to sip on? Duck wine.

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Hi this is Chloe and i am about to tell you about my joke . why did the соw cross the road because to get to the other side.

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This isnt a joke i just want to spread awareness of anatidaephobia

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I tried to take a fog machine, but I took the wrong one. Needless to say, it was a big мisт-take.

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What is a monkey’s 🐒 favorite dance move?
The banana 🍌 split.

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I was walking in the forrest with my gf
I had a desert eagle for protection
A bear jumped out of the bushes one shot was enough to put my gf down and it gave me enough time to run away

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Why can’t pooh bear catch a date. Because he is always talking about his honey.

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I told my friend that someone accused him of blowing dead bears. I said I defended him by responding that I saw 1 get up and walk away.

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Actually, It isn’t a bear joke, but bear with me here…

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Two men are hunting. one asks: did you ever hunt bear? the other one answers: no, but one time i went fishing in my shorts

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Why did the dog 🐕 join the marching band?
Because he had his trum-воnе.

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Why did the chicken cross the road?
It didn’t, I hit it with my car 3 blocks down

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Why did the boy put a chicken 🐔 in his garden?
He wanted to grow an eggplant.

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What do you call someone who takes care of chickens?
A chicken tender

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Why did the man say chickens were lucky…?
Because they get killed and eaten.

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What does an evil hen lay?
Deviled eggs! 😈🥚

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What body part do pigs have that humans don’t have?
A hambone.

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A man and a giraffe walk into a bar, the man orders a вееr one for him and one for the giraffe.
After they finish their drinks the giraffe falls over and the man gets his stuff and heads for the door.
The bartender says
"Stop! you can’t leave that thing lying on the floor"
The man says
"Mate, that’s not a lion, it’s a giraffe".

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Why do lions always lose at poker?
Because they always play against cheetas

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