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Animal Jokes

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I was kidnapped by mad scientist who experimented on me, replacing my limbs with animal ones.
If I ever see him again I'll tear him apart with my bear hands.
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Girls say I'm an animal in bed.
More specifically a koala. I can sleep for 22 hours in a row.
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What animal has exactly 12 grams of carbon?
A mole
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What do you call a vet that can only work on one animal?
A doctor
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What's the dumbest animal in the jungle?
The polar bear.
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I phoned the animal shelter today
And said "I've found six kittens in a suitcase in the woods." They said ", are they moving?"
I replied "I don't know but that would explain the suitcase."
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Joey gives Mary 1 stuffed animal and 2 flowers.
Joey gives Mary 1 stuffed animal and 2 flowers. Emma gives Mary 3 flowers and 2 stuffed animals. Sam gives Mary 2 stuffed animals and 1 flower. What does Mary have?
Cancer. Mary has cancer.
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What do you call a white kid who’s also a furry?
An animal cracker
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What animal can a соw communicate with?
A MOOse.
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What animal did the соw and snake discuss?
A Moose.
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What you call an animal that moos?
A соw, duмваss.
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A man and his son walk into a zoo and the only animal is a dog
The man looks to his son and says "this is a ShihTzu"
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Today I chopped up Onion for dinner and it made me cry. I guess it's true that you grow an attachment to an animal after you give it a name
He was a good dog
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Did you know they tested the Mars rover against animal attacks?
They had to switch to dogs because Curiosity killed the cat.
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Can a cook and clean for real no i do not want no rabbit hare in my house.
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Where do you mix a bunny and a hare
Bunny hare
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Are you having rabbit duck for dinner? Yeah Why? Because I got too obsessed with hares.
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Two rabbits were racing. Neither could get a-head, so they ended in a hare-tie!
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My mom wanted me to brush my hair.
And I just told her that even pet animals don’t like there hare brushed…
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What happened when 800 hares got loose in the center of town?
The cops had to comb through the area.
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