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Cow jokes

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- "Крава!" - казах аз на една жена, която караше колело. Ein Mann fährt eine steile Bergstrasse hinauf. Eine Frau fährt dieselbe Strasse hinunter. Als sie sich begegnen, lehnt sich die Frau aus dem Fenster und schreit: "SCHWEIN!!" Der Mann schreit sofort zurück: "HEXE!!" Beide fahren weiter.....als der Mann um die nächste Kurve biegt, rammt er ein... Górzysta droga. Facet prowadzi samochód. Naprzeciw niego jedzie drugi samochód, który prowadzi kobieta. Gdy sie mijają kobieta uchyla okno i krzyczy: - ŚWINIA!!! Facet natychmiast uchyla swoje okno... I yelled, “COW!” at a woman on a bike As she rode by. She looked at me, gave me the finger, and turned back around and promptly plowed her bike into the cow. I tried. Naisautoilija pysäytti miesautoilijan, ruuvasi ikkunan auki ja sanoi: - ”Sika, sika!” Miesautoilija ruuvasi ikkunan auki ja sanoi ”Lehmä, lehmä”. Mies jatkoi ajoaan ja törmäsi tiellä olevaan sikaan. Igår skrek jag "KOSSA!" till en kvinna på cykel. Hon svarade genom att ge mig längfingret. Sen brakade hon rakt in i kossan jag varnat för. Jag försökte i alla fall! Jeg skrek "KU!" til en kvinne på sykkelen. Нun svarte med å vise meg fingeren. Like etter det kjørte hun rett i kua. Jeg forsøkte...
I yelled “Cow!” at a woman on a bike...
She gave me the finger.
Then she ran into a cow.
I tried.
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Cow jokes
What do Indians say when they are surprised?
Holy cow
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Cow jokes
So two cows are standing in a field...
One turns to the other and says,
"So have you heard about this mad соw disease business? Pretty scary stuff."
The other looks back and says,
"What do I care, I'm a helicopter!"
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Two cows are in a field and one says to the other "I'm kind of worried about this Mad Соw disease, are you?
The second соw replies "Nah I'm not worried about it. I'm a helicopter"
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Two соw talking in a field
The first one ask :
"Aren't you afraid about this terrible disease from the neighbor's farm called" mad соw" ? "
The second one looked at her, surprised, and answered :
" I don't care... I'm a rabbit"
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Fun fact, bulls aren’t angered by the color red, but the waving motion of the cloth
Which makes absolute sense since my neighbor gives me a scowl whenever I wave to her, Sharon you cow
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Why do farmers buy 18 DVDs on raising cattle?
They don't want that соw vid 19!
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What do you get when you milk a scared соw?
Seriously injured if you're lucky. Cmon man, that's dangerous.
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TIL its illegal to кill a соw in Nepal
If you do they use cowpital punishment.
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What does the 14 year old white соw say?
Mooood.
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A mathematician, a biologist, and an economist are riding in a train.
Looking out the window, they see a соw.
*Mathematician:* “This side of the соw is brown.”
*Biologist:* “That is a brown соw.”
*Economist:* “**All** cows are brown.”
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What do you call an insulted соw?
Roast beef.
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How do you get more milk out of a соw that won't listen?
You whisper to them, but it still goes in one ear and out the udder.
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So a farmer told me a story about his cow
It was legend dairy.
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What does a girl have two of but a соw has more?
Legs, you pervert
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What did the Hindu соw say to the yoga class?
OoM
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I don’t know what everyone’s issue is with Jimmy Saville..
When I was younger he let me milk a соw blindfolded.
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I brought a cougar into my home.
I forgot about the соw I married.
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Who was a соw's favorite James Bond actor and James Bond girl actress?
Roger Moo and Graze Jones.
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What did the соw say to the blind farmer with only one arm?
Moo
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What you call an animal that moos?
A соw, duмваss.
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Animal Jokes Cow jokes
Why did the Chef have lots of Соw Friends?
They gave him great Steak tips
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Have you heard about the соw that produces a galon of milk every second?
It's pretty legendairy.
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What animal did the соw and snake discuss?
A Moose.
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Animal Jokes Cow jokes
What did the vet say to the farmer about his terminally ill соw?
It'll beef alright
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What do you get when you cross a соw, an octopus, and a man?
A reprimand from the ethics commissioner.
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What animal can a соw communicate with?
A MOOse.
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Animal Jokes Cow jokes
What is infront of the Woman, YET, at the back of the Соw?
"W"
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Why did the farmer give the соw a pumpkin?
He wanted to squash his beef.
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A соw and a farmer had a fight
One dinner together later there was no more beef.
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What do you call it when you can't shot a 1000 pound соw?
A big missed steak.
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A teacher asks her first grade class about farm animals...
Teacher:
"What does a fат chicken give you?"
Class:
"Chicken nuggets!!!"
Teacher:
"What does a fат pig give you?"
Class:
"Bacon and ham!!!"
Teacher:
"What does a fат соw give you?"
Class:
"Homework!!!"
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A guy sent his wife to India after she retired
He heard they have соw retirement centers there.
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Where did I take my pet Соw on Valentines Day?
To the Moooovies
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The guy who played Wolverine had a pet sea соw and it was stolen...
It was a сriме against Hugh's manatee!
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Appropriate since both my sister and girlfriend are on their time of the month
Why is a period called РМS?
Because mad соw disease was already taken.
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How did the соw feel after being diagnosed with вrеаsт cancer?
She was in udder disbelief.
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За тези, които живеят в града и никога не са виждали кравешко яйце Per tutti quelli che vivono in città e non hanno mai visto uova di mucca: Nu kan jeg jo зе at mange, her i gruppen, er byboere som ikke har det store kendskab til landbrug. Derfor viser jeg lige to koæg for at vise hvor jeres bøffer kommer fra.
For those of you who have always lived in the city and have never set foot on a farm, these are what cow eggs like.
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Animal Jokes Cow jokes Farmer Jokes Egg jokes
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