Cow jokes

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I yelled “Cow!” at a woman on a bike...
She gave me the finger.
Then she ran into a cow.
I tried.

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Cow jokes

What do Indians say when they are surprised?
Holy cow

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Cow jokes

So two cows are standing in a field...
One turns to the other and says,
"So have you heard about this mad соw disease business? Pretty scary stuff."
The other looks back and says,
"What do I care, I'm a helicopter!"

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Cow jokes

Two cows are in a field and one says to the other "I'm kind of worried about this Mad Соw disease, are you?
The second соw replies "Nah I'm not worried about it. I'm a helicopter"

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Cow jokes

Two соw talking in a field
The first one ask :
"Aren't you afraid about this terrible disease from the neighbor's farm called" mad соw" ? "
The second one looked at her, surprised, and answered :
" I don't care... I'm a rabbit"

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Cow jokes

Fun fact, bulls aren’t angered by the color red, but the waving motion of the cloth
Which makes absolute sense since my neighbor gives me a scowl whenever I wave to her, Sharon you cow

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Cow jokes

Why do farmers buy 18 DVDs on raising cattle?
They don't want that соw vid 19!

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Cow jokes

What do you get when you milk a scared соw?
Seriously injured if you're lucky. Cmon man, that's dangerous.

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Cow jokes

TIL its illegal to кill a соw in Nepal
If you do they use cowpital punishment.

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Cow jokes

What does the 14 year old white соw say?
Mooood.

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Cow jokes

A mathematician, a biologist, and an economist are riding in a train.
Looking out the window, they see a соw.
*Mathematician:* “This side of the соw is brown.”
*Biologist:* “That is a brown соw.”
*Economist:* “**All** cows are brown.”

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Cow jokes

What do you call an insulted соw?
Roast beef.

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Cow jokes

How do you get more milk out of a соw that won't listen?
You whisper to them, but it still goes in one ear and out the udder.

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Cow jokes

So a farmer told me a story about his cow
It was legend dairy.

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Cow jokes

What does a girl have two of but a соw has more?
Legs, you pervert

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Cow jokes

What did the Hindu соw say to the yoga class?
OoM

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Cow jokes

I don’t know what everyone’s issue is with Jimmy Saville..
When I was younger he let me milk a соw blindfolded.

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Cow jokes

I brought a cougar into my home.
I forgot about the соw I married.

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Cow jokes

Who was a соw's favorite James Bond actor and James Bond girl actress?
Roger Moo and Graze Jones.

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Cow jokes

What did the соw say to the blind farmer with only one arm?
Moo

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Cow jokes

What you call an animal that moos?
A соw, duмваss.

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Animal Jokes Cow jokes

Why did the Chef have lots of Соw Friends?
They gave him great Steak tips

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Cow jokes

Have you heard about the соw that produces a galon of milk every second?
It's pretty legendairy.

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Cow jokes

What animal did the соw and snake discuss?
A Moose.

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Animal Jokes Cow jokes

What did the vet say to the farmer about his terminally ill соw?
It'll beef alright

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Cow jokes

What do you get when you cross a соw, an octopus, and a man?
A reprimand from the ethics commissioner.

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Cow jokes

What animal can a соw communicate with?
A MOOse.

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Animal Jokes Cow jokes

What is infront of the Woman, YET, at the back of the Соw?
"W"

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Cow jokes

Why did the farmer give the соw a pumpkin?
He wanted to squash his beef.

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Cow jokes

A соw and a farmer had a fight
One dinner together later there was no more beef.

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Cow jokes

What do you call it when you can't shot a 1000 pound соw?
A big missed steak.

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Cow jokes

A teacher asks her first grade class about farm animals...
Teacher:
"What does a fат chicken give you?"
Class:
"Chicken nuggets!!!"
Teacher:
"What does a fат pig give you?"
Class:
"Bacon and ham!!!"
Teacher:
"What does a fат соw give you?"
Class:
"Homework!!!"

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Cow jokes

A guy sent his wife to India after she retired
He heard they have соw retirement centers there.

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Cow jokes

Where did I take my pet Соw on Valentines Day?
To the Moooovies

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Cow jokes

The guy who played Wolverine had a pet sea соw and it was stolen...
It was a сriме against Hugh's manatee!

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Cow jokes

Appropriate since both my sister and girlfriend are on their time of the month
Why is a period called РМS?
Because mad соw disease was already taken.

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Cow jokes

How did the соw feel after being diagnosed with вrеаsт cancer?
She was in udder disbelief.

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Cow jokes

For those of you who have always lived in the city and have never set foot on a farm, these are what cow eggs like.

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