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Cow jokes

Newest jokes in this category
- "Крава!" - казах аз на една жена, която караше колело. Ein Mann fährt eine steile Bergstrasse hinauf. Eine Frau fährt dieselbe Strasse hinunter. Als sie sich begegnen, lehnt sich die Frau aus dem Fenster und schreit: "SCHWEIN!!" Der Mann schreit sofort zurück: "HEXE!!" Beide fahren weiter.....als der Mann um die nächste Kurve biegt, rammt er ein... Górzysta droga. Facet prowadzi samochód. Naprzeciw niego jedzie drugi samochód, który prowadzi kobieta. Gdy sie mijają kobieta uchyla okno i krzyczy: - ŚWINIA!!! Facet natychmiast uchyla swoje okno... I yelled, “COW!” at a woman on a bike As she rode by. She looked at me, gave me the finger, and turned back around and promptly plowed her bike into the cow. I tried. Naisautoilija pysäytti miesautoilijan, ruuvasi ikkunan auki ja sanoi: - ”Sika, sika!” Miesautoilija ruuvasi ikkunan auki ja sanoi ”Lehmä, lehmä”. Mies jatkoi ajoaan ja törmäsi tiellä olevaan sikaan. Igår skrek jag "KOSSA!" till en kvinna på cykel. Hon svarade genom att ge mig längfingret. Sen brakade hon rakt in i kossan jag varnat för. Jag försökte i alla fall! Jeg skrek "KU!" til en kvinne på sykkelen. Нun svarte med å vise meg fingeren. Like etter det kjørte hun rett i kua. Jeg forsøkte...
I yelled “Cow!” at a woman on a bike...
She gave me the finger.
Then she ran into a cow.
I tried.
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A big city lawyer was called in on a case between a farmer and a large railroad company. The farmer noticed that his prize соw was missing from the field through which the railroad passed. He filed suit against the railroad company for the value of the соw. The case was to be tried before the Justice of the Peace in the back room of the General Store.
The attorney immediately cornered the farmer and tried to get him to settle out of court. The lawyer did his best selling job, and the farmer finally agreed to take half of what he was claiming to settle the case. After the farmer signed the release and took the check, the young lawyer couldn't help but gloat a little over his success.
He said to the farmer,
"You know, I hate to tell you this but I put one over on you in there. I couldn't have won the case. The engineer was asleep and the fireman was in the caboose when the train went through your farm that morning. I didn't have one witness to put on the stand."
The old farmer replied,
"Well, I'll tell you, young feller, I was a little worried about winning that case myself because that durned соw came home this morning!"
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Lawyer Jokes Engineer Jokes Cow jokes Judge and Court Jokes Farmer Jokes Military Jokes
Why do they call it РМS?
Because Mad Соw Disease was already taken.
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Insult Jokes Jokes about Women Men vs Women Jokes Dirty jokes Cow jokes
What do you get when you cross a соw and an octopus?
A reprimand from the Scientific Ethics and Integrity Committee and an immediate withdrawal of your grant funding.
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What’s the difference between a соw and the crucifixion?
You can’t milk a соw for 2,000 years.
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Why does a milking stool only have three legs?
Because the соw has the udder.
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What do you call a соw with no legs?
My severely diabetic sister.
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What does the narcissistic соw say?
"Meeeeee!"
I wrote this.
I'm now a comedy writer.
You are welcome.
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How do you call a соw with no legs?
You don't, because cows don't have phones.
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- "Крава!" - казах аз на една жена, която караше колело. I yelled “Cow!” at a woman on a bike... Ein Mann fährt eine steile Bergstrasse hinauf. Eine Frau fährt dieselbe Strasse hinunter. Als sie sich begegnen, lehnt sich die Frau aus dem Fenster und schreit: "SCHWEIN!!" Der Mann schreit sofort zurück: "HEXE!!" Beide fahren weiter.....als der Mann um die nächste Kurve biegt, rammt er ein... Górzysta droga. Facet prowadzi samochód. Naprzeciw niego jedzie drugi samochód, który prowadzi kobieta. Gdy sie mijają kobieta uchyla okno i krzyczy: - ŚWINIA!!! Facet natychmiast uchyla swoje okno... Naisautoilija pysäytti miesautoilijan, ruuvasi ikkunan auki ja sanoi: - ”Sika, sika!” Miesautoilija ruuvasi ikkunan auki ja sanoi ”Lehmä, lehmä”. Mies jatkoi ajoaan ja törmäsi tiellä olevaan sikaan. Igår skrek jag "KOSSA!" till en kvinna på cykel. Hon svarade genom att ge mig längfingret. Sen brakade hon rakt in i kossan jag varnat för. Jag försökte i alla fall! Jeg skrek "KU!" til en kvinne på sykkelen. Нun svarte med å vise meg fingeren. Like etter det kjørte hun rett i kua. Jeg forsøkte...
I yelled, “СОW!” at a woman on a bike
As she rode by. She looked at me, gave me the finger, and turned back around and promptly plowed her bike into the соw.
I tried.
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Cow jokes Men jokes Men vs Women Jokes Fat Jokes
За тези, които живеят в града и никога не са виждали кравешко яйце Per tutti quelli che vivono in città e non hanno mai visto uova di mucca: Nu kan jeg jo зе at mange, her i gruppen, er byboere som ikke har det store kendskab til landbrug. Derfor viser jeg lige to koæg for at vise hvor jeres bøffer kommer fra.
For those of you who have always lived in the city and have never set foot on a farm, these are what cow eggs like.
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Animal Jokes Cow jokes Farmer Jokes Egg jokes
Q: What do you call a соw who's had an abortion?
A: De-calf-i-nated.
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Animal Jokes Cow jokes
Why did the соw get an award?
For being outstanding in his field.
Sorry.
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Cow jokes
American man to wife:
"Pass the honey... Honey"
Welsh man to wife:
"Pass the sugar... Sugar"
Scottish man to wife:
"Pass the milk... ya соw"
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TIL соw tipping is an urban myth.
Apparently, the farmers just pay them a competitive wage.
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They say соw manure come from males.
But that's вullshiт.
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Did you hear about the соw who gambled on an airplane?
The steaks couldn't have been higher.
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Cow jokes
If a соw is unable to produce milk...
Is it an udder failure?
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Cow jokes
My kids were very excited to learn how to make a hamburger.
They seemed to lose interest after I cut the соw's throat.
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Cow jokes
What do Indians say when they are surprised?
Holy cow
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Cow jokes
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