Animal Jokes

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Who doesn't eat on Thanksgiving? A turkey because it is always stuffed.

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Animal Jokes Thanksgiving Jokes

A speaker at Democratic National Convention asked the audience, "Are you better off now?"
The audience answered in chorus voice, "Yes."
As soon as the loud voice turned silent, a delegate stood up and asked,
"How did the GOP get better off?"
The speaker declared, "We all are on the same boat, remember?"
The delegate exasperated, "Yeah, Noah's Ark - animals in couples!"

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Nationality Jokes Animal Jokes Political Jokes

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?
Becuase the "P" is silent.

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Animal Jokes

You momma is so big that I still remember the day I was looking at the news and all animal rescuers were trying to return that "blue whale" that was sleep on the sand back in to the ocean.

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News and Politics Jokes Animal Jokes Yo Momma Jokes

What do you get when a соw goes to the Beach with tanning oil?
Pre-tanned leather.

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Animal Jokes

What happened to the cold jellyfish?
It set.

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Animal Jokes

What did the slug say as he slipped down the window very fast?
How slime flies.

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Animal Jokes

Two neighbors had been fighting each other for nigh on four decades.
Bob buys a Great Dane and teaches it to use the bathroom in Bill's yard.
For one whole year Bill ignores the dog.
So Bob then buys a соw and teaches it to use the bathroom in Bill's yard.
After about a year and a half of Bob's соw crapping in Bill's yard; being ignored all the while, a semi pulls up in front of Bill's house.
Bob runs over and demands to know what's in the 18-wheeler.
'My new pet elephant,' Bill replies solemly.

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Animal Jokes

How did the rabbit become a wrestling champion?
It had a lot of hare pins.

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Animal Jokes

What's at the end of Moby Diск?
A whale of a time.

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Animal Jokes

What's a rabbits favorite musical?
Hare.

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Animal Jokes Music and Musician Jokes

What's a moo hoo for the sound you hear when a соw spits?
A cud thud.

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Animal Jokes

For our daughters 5th birthday we bought her a rabbit.
We couldn’t help laughing when on the way she announced "the rabbit’s name is Sparingly."
"How do you know?" I asked "look" she responded "it says “feed sparingly 3 times daily."

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Animal Jokes

What do cows like to do at amoosement parks?
Ride on the roller cowster.

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Animal Jokes

Why do cows think cooks are mean?
They whip cream!

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Animal Jokes

Two kittens on a sloped roof.
Wchich one slides off first?
The one with the lowest mew.

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Animal Jokes Nerd jokes

What did the baby dolphin do when he didn't get his way?
He whale-d.

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Animal Jokes Baby Jokes

What do you call a neurotic octopus?
A crazy, mixed-up squid.

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Animal Jokes

How do you make a milkshake?
Give a соw a pogo stick.

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Animal Jokes Food Jokes

Why did the skunk buy four boxes of tissues?
Because he had a stinking cold.

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Animal Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes