Bad Jokes

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Isn’t it funny that when boats get sick, they actually go to the doc(k)?

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Bad Jokes

The last 4 letters in the word "queue" are silent. Can they be waiting their turn?

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Bad Jokes

Men are from Mars.
Women are from Venus.
Cows are from the Moooooooooon.

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Bad Jokes

How did Моsеs cut the sea in half?
With a seasaw.

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Bad Jokes

A drummer and a bass player jump off a skyscraper – Boom Boom.

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Bad Jokes

When I’m bored, I imitate everybody.
But that’s no way for an adult to behave.
But that’s no way for an adult to behave.
Come on, stop being sтuрid.
Come on, stop being sтuрid.

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Bad Jokes

Two cows sit in the basement, chopping up oil.
A screwdriver goes in through the door, goes up the wall, crosses the ceiling, heads back down the other wall and goes out through the second door.
One соw looks at the other and says,
"This is insane, did you see that?"
"Yeah, totally insane, he never greets."

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Bad Jokes

What is the difference between an eggplant and a chicken?
They're both purple, except for the chicken.

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Bad Jokes

Dad to his son:
" I have nothing against us sharing an opinion, as long as it means that I keep my opinion and you share mine."

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Bad Jokes

What is black and white and waits on the washing line?
A fly in a wedding dress.

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Bad Jokes

What is the difference between a soccer star and a bank robber?
The bank robber goes, “Give me the money or I shoot!”
The soccer star goes, “Give me the money or I don’t shoot!”

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Bad Jokes

When a тамроn and a sanitary pad are competing at the races, which of them is going to win?
The pad! The тамроn keeps tripping on the string.

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Bad Jokes

What is yellow and black and flies?
A group of mustard seeds in leather jackets!

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Bad Jokes

A guy orders at a bakery, "I'd like 19 buns please."
The baker suggests, "I think you should take 20, sir."
"Why?" asks the man, puzzled.
The baker replies,
"That way, you would have one more!"

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Bad Jokes

What is a cannibal’s natural first choice in a restaurant?
The waiter.

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Bad Jokes

At the movies:
“Sorry we’re all sold out down to the last place.”
“Excellent, I’ll have the last place then.”

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Bad Jokes

“In our traditional farm hotel, you are woken by the call of the cockerel!”
-
“Very good, please tell him 9 o’clock.”

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Bad Jokes Hotel Jokes

A horse goes into a bar.
Barkeeper:
"Why such a long face?"

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Bad Jokes

What is yellow and smells of bananas? Ape vомiт.

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Bad Jokes

If I were to choose between dating and eating a soup – I think I’d rather eat the soup. Not much point in dating it.

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Bad Jokes