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Blonde Jokes

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How can you tell if a blonde's been in your car?
The gear sticks wet.
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Why did God give blondes 2 points higher IQs than horses? Because he didn't want them shiттing in the streets during parades.
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A blonde woman is driving her car down the highway going way, way too fast. She passes a patrol car and is immediately pulled over. The police officer, who is also a blonde woman, comes over to the window and asks for her license. Dumbfounded, the blonde driver frantically tears through her pocketbook but can't seem to find it. She asks the officer, "Well what does a license look like?". The officer says,
"It's a small card with you picture on it." So she starts looking again and pulls out a small mirror. "Aha! I found it!" she says, and hands it to the officer. The officer looks at it, hands it back and says "Your free to go." The driver asks why and the officer responds, "I didn't know you were a cop."
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A man shouts out to a blonde on the other side of a river and says " How did you get to the other side?"
The blonde replies by saying "You are on the other side"
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A blonde mechanic told one of his customers " I couldn't fix your brakes, so I made your horn louder!"
Lol
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One Christmas Eve, Santa Claus comes down the chimney and is startled by a beautiful 19 year old blonde. She said "Santa, will you stay with me?", Santa replied, "Но Но Но gotta go, gotta go, gotta deliver these toys to good girls and boys."
So she took off her night gown, wearing only a вrа and раnтiеs, she asked "Santa, now will you stay with me?"
"Но Но Но gotta go, gotta go, gotta deliver these toys to good girls and boys."
She takes off everything and says "Santa, now will you stay with me?"
Santa replies "Gotta stay, gotta stay, can't get up the chimney with my d*ck this way!"
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A blonde, brunette, and redhead are stranded on a island. They search the island and find a lamp. They rub it and out pops a genie. He says since there's three of them each gets one wish. The brunette wishes she was back home and disappears from the island. The redhead wishes the same thing and disappears from the island. The blonde looks around and says "I wish I had my friends back"!
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One day on friday the 13th a blonde and a brunette are on a boat leaning over the rails looking at the water. All of a sudden the brunette loses her balence and falls over the side of the boat. She is hanging onto the rail and the blonde is just standing there not helping. Eventually the brunette loses her grip and drowns. Once the blonde dies of old age they run into each other in heavan. The brunette asks "why didnt you save me" the blonde says "cause it was friday the 13th and your suposed to have bad luck,duh
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How do you keep a blonde busy for 7 hours.
Put her in a round room and tell her to sit in the corner.
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Two blonde chics are typing up their essays when one of them stopped suddenly, confused as shiт. She turns to the other blonde girl and asks, "how do we spell 'laugh?'"
The blonde girl replies,
"Duh! L-O-L... the 'F' is silent."
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Boyid it hurt when you fell from hevan?
Blonde: are you calling me judah?....
{blonde walks off}
Boy tells friends: first brunnetts ,then blacks, now blondes? lets go for reds.
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When a blonde gets told to do an Essay,she does a Mexican.
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A blonde guy in the 6th Grade got a ticket that said 'Free Dress Day.' He came back to school and wore a dress that said 'FREE!' on it.
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A surgeon went to check on his patient -- a pretty blonde -- after an operation. "You'll be fine," he said after checking her out.
"Doctor? I have kind of a personal question," she said.
"Certainly -- doctors are trained to be discreet. What's your question?"
"Well," she asked,
"How long will it be before I am able to have a normal sеx life again?"
The surgeon seemed to pause, which alarmed the girl.
"What's the matter, Doctor? I will be all right, won't I?"
"Well yes, you'll be fine!" he replied. "It's just that no one has ever asked me that after having their tonsils out."
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A blonde a brunette and a red head are getting chased by the police and they hide in the farm. The brunette hides behind a sheep. The red head hides behind a соw . The blond hides behind a sack of potatoes. The cop comes in to where the brunette is ,"is anyone in here?". She says bahhh ."he then goes in where the red head and says"is anyone in here?,"moo". The cop goes into where the blond is and says "is any one in here?" The blonde says "potatoes"
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Blonde Invention:
Book on how to read
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Did you hear about the blonde who ran out of room to write on a transparency sheet?
She turned it over and used the other side!
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Какво отговоря блондинка като я попиташ дали мигачът мига? Две блондинки се возят в кола. Един борец казал на друг: Blonde Rides Shotgun The Blonde and the Blinker Δυο ξανθιές στο αμάξι Скъпа, погледни дали свети преден десен мигач! Што одговара плавуша кога ја прашуваат дали работи жмигавецот на колата: Zwei Österreicher überprüfen ihr Auto: A guy was driving in a car with a blonde. He told her to stick her head out the window and see if the blinker worked. - Vet du vad norrmännen säger om blinkersen i bilen? - Fungerer, fungerer ikke... C'est deux belges qui sont dans une voiture et le préparent pour partir en vacances. Le conducteur dis au passager - Va voir si le clignotant marche bien s'il te plaît. - Ouais, ouais, tout de... Carabinieri in auto: "Appuntato guarda se la freccia funziona". "Ora si', ora no, ora si', ora no ..." Det var en norrman, en dansk och Bellman som skulle köpa bil. Bellman ville prova ljusen och norrmannen ställde sig bakom bilen för att kontrollera ljusen. Bellman slog på ljuset. - Ja det... A man got in a taxi cab to be driven to work. They were about to turn a corner, but had to wait for the light. The taxi cab driver wasn’t sure his blinkers were working so he said to the man "will... A husband is driving with her blonde wife, the husband says "Can you stick your head out the window if the blinker works?" T hen the blonde sticks her head out the window and replies, "Yes, No,... Kevin, schaust du mal bitte, ob der Blinker hinten funktioniert? Kevin: Ja geht, nein, doch jetzt wieder, jetzt wieder nicht. Un tipo le dice a la mujer rubia: - Andrea, hazme el favor y mírame si funciona el intermitente derecho. Andrea sale y dice: - Sí, no, sí, no. What does a blonde say when you ask her if her blinker is working? Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Det var en Svensk turist som var ute och åkte bil i Norge. Han svängde in på en verkstad för att kolla så att alla lampor på bilen fungerade. - Kan jag få hjälp med en sak? Frågade svensken. -... Det var två norr män som skulle åka bil. Då sa den som skulle köra till den andra: - Kan du gå ur och kolla så blinkersen funkar? - Okej, sa han och gick ut för att titta. Så satte han som skulle... P: O que uma loira te responde quando você pergunta se o pisca-pisca está funcionando? — Está; não está; Está. Não está... Ein Mann bittet eine Blondine sich hinter sein Auto zu stellen, um ihm zu sagen, ob sein Blinker funktioniert. Blondine geht hinters Auto und ruft: Ja Nein Ja Nein Ja Nein..... Two blondes are driving down the road, the driver turns to the passengar and says can you tell me if my blinker is working. So the passengar sticks her head out the window and says... A guy driving his car asks his blonde girlfriend to stick her head out of the window and check to see if the blinkers are working, she sticks her head out and tells the boyfriend to go ahead I'm... This guy picked up a dumb hitchhiker, and he said, 'Before we go any place, there might be something wrong with my right rear blinker. Will you go back there and check it?' The guy went back there.... Quando uma pessoa pergunta para uma loira se o pisca-pisca do carro está funcionado o que ela diz? R.. tá , nao tá , tá, nao tá , tá , nao tá....
A guy asked a blonde if his blinkers were working and she replied
On,off,on,off
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There was a brunette and a blonde speeding in a car. Brunette tells the blonde to watch out for the cops. Brunette says " You see any police lights". Blonde responds "Yes, no, yes, no, yes,no,yes."
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A new patient was quite upset when the doctor’s nurse led him to a small, curtained cubicle and told him to undress. "But I only want the doctor to look at an ingrown toenail!" he protested. "Our rule is that everyone must undress," replied the blond nurse. "That’s a sтuрid rule," grumbled the patient, "making me undress just to look at my toe."
"That’s nothing," growled a voice from the next cubicle. "I just came to fix the phones!"
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