Cat jokes

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Halloween is next month! Here's a Halloween themed joke for you all: Why is a black cat unlucky?
It means you cooked it too long.

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Cat jokes

My dog loves to huмр my cat
He’s a real purrrrvert

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Cat jokes

What do you call it when your doctor tells you to take your dead cat to a Taxidermist
A refurral.

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Cat jokes

I saw a missing kitten poster at the end of my street, responds to "Rasputin"
Now there was a cat who really was gone

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Cat jokes

I think my kitten has a tumor..
But I won’t know for sure until she has a cat scan

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Cat jokes

I wanted to watch the Dallas cowboys in the superbowl...
The cat said,
"Not without a VCR"

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Cat jokes

What did the millennial say at a safari when a big cat jumped out in front of him?
Ok puma

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Cat jokes

What did the owner say to his cat after she dressed as a dog?
Naughty dog
(Not-a dog)

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Cat jokes

What keyboard macro is used to get a cat on a computer?
Tab E

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Cat jokes

Today, a CAT fell on me.
Would've been funny, had I not been in a construction site.

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Cat jokes

My cat got another bumpersticker.
Bite the hands that don't feed you.

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Cat jokes

Two friends are meeting in a bar
Friend1: My wife and I got a new pet.
Friend2: Cool, what is it? A cat? A dog?
Friend1: Neither. It is a skunk.
Friend2: Oh gosh. Isn't it smelling totally awful in your home?
Friend1: Well, the pet will have to get used to it.

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Cat jokes

Im questioning my vets qualifications after diagnosing my cat with gingervitis..
There isn't a single strand of red hair on her.

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Cat jokes

What's the difference between Mufasa and a house cat?
Mufasa couldn't land on all fours.

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Cat jokes

I was told by the vet that i had to put my cat down...
So i went home to it and said "You're fат and lazy."

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Fat Jokes Cat jokes

Wanted: £20,000 Reward for Schroedinger's Cat...
... Dead and Alive

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Cat jokes

Good news: cat found on mars
Bad news: curiosity killed the cat

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Cat jokes

I just found a dead body in the street
So I took it home and put it on the cat's pillow
See how she f**king likes it !

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Cat jokes

Did you know they tested the Mars rover against animal attacks?
They had to switch to dogs because Curiosity killed the cat.

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Animal Jokes Cat jokes

*A joke my son told me* - What do you call it when a cat wins a dog show?
A Cat-Has-Trophey!

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Cat jokes