Dirty jokes

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Did you hear about the pornstar with an undiagnosed heart problem? Apparently her doctor thought she had acute angina but was too embarrassed to say so.

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Medical and Doctor Jokes Dirty jokes

This guy anant and this girl are at the end of their blind date and before he says good night to her she asks him if he wants to have a drink and he says ’’yes’’ so they go in the house and they go in her room and she says’’close your eyes i have a surprize for you’’. She later says ’’you can open your eyes now’’ he opens them and she has whipped cream all over her ’’рussy" and he goes and start eating the whip cream until he found himself with a diск in his mouth,the girl starts crying and says’’i should of never lied to you, I'm a man my name is Bob and im a plumber from massachusetts and the guy with a shocked look says’’i thought you were from boston’.....!!!!!

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Dirty jokes Men jokes

Managed to fake my first оrgаsм with my wife the other night. I just made a loud grunting noise and then poured warm yogurt on her аss.

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Dirty jokes

I bet you can increase my productivity.

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Dirty jokes

I'll never forget how she told us. She took us all out to brunch, and she was like, 'You guys, I'm keeping this one.'

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Dirty jokes

Went to the sреrм bank today.
It’s so much more fun than donating blood.

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Dirty jokes

One day dad and his son taking a bath suddenly son fall down but survive by caught his dad реnis,and dad smile looking his son down and say if it was your mom you will lose teeth

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Dirty jokes Dad Jokes

Boy: hey baby, maybe you should come over and I can show you a good time. It's really hard
Girls dad: this is Serena's dad, what exactly will she be doing with something hard?
Boy: oh... Hey mr Gonzales I was wandering if Serena wanted to come play video games with me on hard mode.
Girls dad: well Serena isn't have now but I could come over and try, I love video games.
Boy: I don't think it's hard anymore...

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Dirty jokes Dad Jokes

I used to smoke after sеx but now I just use Vaseline.

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Dirty jokes Sex Jokes

Random kid: fuск YOU!
Me: go fuск yourself, you'll get more pussy

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Kids Jokes Dirty jokes

Friend:u home me: yea watching the game friend: good i'm comin over and i'm bringing cold hermaphrodites with me
Me: uh... No thanks bro
Friend: hermaphrodites!
Heineken! Jesus crust
Christ!
Me: lol ill unlock the door u freak

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Dirty jokes Friendship Jokes

My doctor told me last week that I don’t eat enough vegetables so I’ve now started dating a girl who has down syndrome.

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Medical and Doctor Jokes Dirty jokes

What does Mr Kipling like to do in his spare time?
Fill tarts with cream.

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Dirty jokes

Today a fortune cookie told me that every exit is an entrance. Long story short, my girlfriend said no.

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Dirty jokes

I saw a Thai girl on the train earlier today and I kept thinking to myself, don’t get an еrестiоn, don’t get an еrестiоn, don’t get an еrестiоn, but then she did.

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Dirty jokes

They say that when a women hits you it's her way of flirting. I just grabbed this girls аss and she flirted me square in the ваlls.

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Jokes about Women Dirty jokes

Is that a bat in your pocket, or does my costume excite you?

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Dirty jokes

You guys have it so easy. You don't shave: it's sеxy, it's a turn-on. We don't shave: it's birth control.

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Dirty jokes

Girl: Mom, what's the difference between sеx and rаре?
Mom: Well, sеx is when both couples like having it, while rаре is when only one is enjoying it and the other is feeling like it's a nightmare.
Girl: Well, then I think dad is rарing you, cuz I hear you saying 'stop it' all the time to him.
Mom: ...

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Dirty jokes Sex Jokes Dad Jokes

A lot of people that are adopted are insecure because they feel like they weren't wanted. But that's сrар, you know, 'cause a lot of people were complete accidents that are only here because of alcohol and prom night and, possibly, Oasis.

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Dirty jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes