Twinkle twinkle little whoreClose your legs your not a doorPeople like you cause your freeI'ma laugh my аss off when you get an std 0 0 0
A recent scientific study has found that 9/10 men prefer big воовs. The other man prefers the 9 men. 0 0 0
My new girlfriend from Thailand said that having a small diск is no problem. I really like her but I think I’d still prefer it if she didn’t have one. 0 0 0
I missed the 70s. That's what I hear, that it was one big ski weekend. From what I hear, this was a good pick-up line in the 1970s:'Come on, let's go.' 0 0 0
I'm like, 'Honey, I don't know how else to put it. I just want to make sweet love to my wife. I don't know what else to say or do, just please, please come with me to the bedroom. Oh hey, check it out, what's that on the pillow? Is that a crisp $20 bill?' 0 0 0
Timmy: Mom where's the thingyMom: What thingy?Timmy: umm-it's-uh... oh it's long and sometimes it gets hardMom: Okay. go on...Timmy: you can suск itMom: ?Timmy: And liск it...Mom: o_oTimmy: It tastes really goodMom: Son where did you learn this fro-(*Timmy interrupts)Timmy: wait, it also has a wrapping kind of objectMom: O_OTimmy: the wrappish object tells you which flavor it is.Mom: Timmy liste-Timmy: no no no wait, it also gets wet.Mom: ... Son are you talking about your peni-(*door slams open)Selena: Mom where are the popsicles, me and Timmy was looking for it. 0 0 0
Hey The Sluт King, do you prefer sitting on a cake and eating a соск or sitting on a соск eating a cake? 0 0 0
Let's torture my реnis by putting a plastic bag around his head, shove it in a dark tunnel and make it do push ups till he throws up! 0 0 0
Bedroom golf rules1. Each player shall furnish his own equipment for play, normally one club and two ваlls.2. Play on course must be approved by the owner of the hole.3. Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get the club in the hole and keep the ваlls out.4. For most effective play, the club should have a firm shaft. Course owners are permitted to check and ensure shaft stiffness before play begins.5. Course owners reserve the right to restrict club length to avoid damage to the hole.6. Object of the game is to take as many strokes as necessary until the owner is satisfied, and then play is complete. Failure to do so may result in being denied permission to play again.7. It is considered bad form to begin playing the hole immediately upon arrival. Experienced player will normally take time to admire the entire course, paying special attention to well formed mounds and bunkers.8. Players are cautioned not to mention other golf course they have played or are currently playing to the owner of the course being played. Upset owners have been known to damage a player’s equipment for this reason.9. Players are encouraged to bring along a rain coat, just in case. 0 0 0
Had a great time watching Fifty Shades Of Grey at the cinema with my girlfriend. The film was terrible but the reaction of the people sitting in front of us after I flicked mayonnaise on them was hilarious. 0 0 0
Jessicaid you hear what the ocean did last night?Me: What?Jessica: Nothing it just waved.Me: Did you hear what happens to Jessica in 20 years timeJessica: What?Me: She never go laid.Jessica: You're a diск.Me: Now now, let's not mention thing you would never get. 0 0 0