Dirty jokes

Most popular in this category

Why women are like computers:
1. They are expensive.
2. They are never specific about problems.
3. They are difficult to figure out and crash inexplicably about once a month.
4. Sometimes you can't even get them turned on, especially if you don't have your floppy in.

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Jokes about Women Dirty jokes

I know a gаy couple that says that they hate using condoms because, when they do, they can't feel shiт.

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Dirty jokes

Girl: Those f**king mosquitoes won't stop eating me up!
Boy: Well, tell them to let me have a turn.
Girl: What?
Boy: What?

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Dirty jokes

Guy: Hey, I spilled water on your GF; you jelly?
Guy2: Why would I be jelly?
Guy:
'Cause I got her wet and you can't.

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Dirty jokes

A little girl and a little boy are sitting in the sand pit.
They are showing their private parts.
They both ask each other "what is it?"
They both replied "I don't know?"
So that same day when the boy went home he asked his dad what it was his dad said "It's a red farahri you can park it in any pink garage."
The girl asked her mom what hers was and her mom said "It's a pink a garage don't let any red a farahri park in it!"
The next day the girl came home with blood all over her hands.
Her mom said "whats that?"
Girl: Blood!"
Mom:
"From what?"
Girl:
"A red farahri tried to park in my pink garage so i pulled his wheels off!"

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Dirty jokes Dad Jokes

Johnny's daddy is the principle of the school.
He saw his teacher leaving school.
Johnny:
"Hey miss where you going?"
Teacher:
"Home."
Johnny:
"Can I come with?"
Teacher:
" No!"
Johnny:
" I'm gonna tell my daddy!"
Teacher:
"Fine."
They arrive at the teachers house...
Teacher:
"Johnny i'm going to take a shower."
Johnny:
"Can I come?"
Teacher:
"No!"
Johnny:
"I'm gonna tell my daddy."
Teacher:
"Fine."
They are in the shower...
Johnny:
"Can I touch your belly button?"
Teacher:
"No."
Johnny:
"I'm gonna tell my daddy."
Teacher:
"Fine."
Teacher:
"Errr... Johnny thats not my belly button!"
Johnny:
" Thats not my finger."

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School Jokes Dirty jokes

SON: How does a vаginа looks likes, dad?
DAD: Well, it's pink, soft,tight.
SON: How about after sеx?
DAD: Have you ever seen a bulldog eat mayonnaise?

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Dirty jokes Sex Jokes Dad Jokes

I heard you like Mickey D so i put on mouse ears.

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Dirty jokes

Even though this isn't a petting zoo, you can still sтrоке my соск if you want.

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Dirty jokes

Pupil: A pupil in class was ваnging her calculater on the table because it wasnt working.
Teacher: Erm what are you doing!?
Pupil: My calculater isnt woking.
Teacher: Well you dont have to ваng it on the table i mean im sure you wouldnt like it if i banged you on the table!
Whole Class: [Laughing out loud] LOL
Do you get it ??????????

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Office and Work Jokes Dirty jokes

There was a person that went to the holding cell and the guard asked what are you doing here the person i was blowing bubbles in the park another person went in the holding cell and he said the same thing then a third person walked in the cell and the guard said let me guess you were blowing bubbles in the park third person said no sir i am bubbles

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Dirty jokes

Twinkle Twinkle little whore
Close your legs your not a door
Your gonna catch an STD
Your only wanted cause your free
Twinkle Twinkle little whоrе Your cheaper than the dollar store

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Dirty jokes

Girl: mom is it true that a baby comes out from the place the guy puts in his соск?
Mom: yes honey
Girl: ОМG so you mean my baby will come out of my mouth???

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Dirty jokes

Calling your girlfriend your "girlfrien" because you'll give her the D later!

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Dirty jokes

Me: Did it hurt? Them: Did what hurt?
Me: When you fell from somebody's аsshоlе into toilet water, you piece of shiт.

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Dirty jokes

Guy: i bet i cant touch your воовs without using my hands.
Girl: ok.
*Guy touches girls воовs*
Guy: nope, cant do it.

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Dirty jokes

Firend: tell me a clean joke.
Me: ok, i took a bath with bubbles.
Friend: now tell me a dirтy joke.
Me: ok, bubbles is the girl next door.

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Dirty jokes Friendship Jokes

- ”Smells fresh. Like a tropical island.”
"Ok. Now take off the blindfold! Your family's been dead in this car for a week! We Febrezed it!"

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Marriage and Family Jokes Dirty jokes

Me: I stopped a girl from getting rареd today.
Friend: Really!? How?
Me: Self control bro, self control.

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Dirty jokes Friendship Jokes

Roses are red, poems are corny, take me to bed I'm feeling hоrny. When roses are red they need to be plucked, and next time I see you, you're gonna get f*cked.

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Dirty jokes