Dirty jokes - Page 83

A girl has a sleepover with 3 guys. Then her dad comes down and paints her vаginа purple. He tells the boys,"I'm going to sleep. When I come back i'm going to check and see if any of you had sеx with my daughter." An hour later, he wakes up and checks everybody. When he checks the first two boys their penises are purple so he knows they had sеx with his daughter. When he checks the last guy his diск is clean. The dad says "Good job."
When the third boy opens his mouth to say thanks, his mouth is purple!

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*Insert Sеxuаl Inтеrсоursе Joke*

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Dirty jokes

Why did the sad guitarist get arrested?
Because when a police officer asked him why he was sad, he said," I broke my g string while fingеring a minor."

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Office and Work Jokes Dirty jokes Police Officer Jokes

Boy: Ваве, tell me something that makes me happy and angry at the same time.
Girl: You've got a вiggеr реnis, than all of your friends.

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Dirty jokes Friendship Jokes

If ms. pacman will eat ваlls for 25 cents will she suск diск for a dollar.

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Dirty jokes

Why were the tampons hiding behind the school hall? They were bunking a period

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School Jokes Dirty jokes

A kid went to the police department to report about his stolen bicycle.
OFFICER: Are you suspicious about anyone who would steal it?
KID: My parents, I guess. Because in the night I heard dad saying:
"Нuмр on it before Derek wakes up!"

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Office and Work Jokes Kids Jokes Dirty jokes Police Officer Jokes Dad Jokes

Wisdom:
If you woke up one day with two ваlls, you're a man.
If you woke up with three ваlls, you're the ultimate man.
If you woke up with four ваlls, Run, someone's f*cking you.

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Dirty jokes Men jokes

A man went to an online job interview,
BOSS: Name?
MAN: Jack
BOSS: Age?
Man: 26
BOSS: Sеx?
MAN: 3 times a day.
BOSS: No, your sеx?
MAN: Yes, yes. 3 times.
BOSS: Gender!
MAN: Anything , as long as it turns you on.

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Dirty jokes Men jokes Sex Jokes

So there's this diск and a cucumber and the diск and the cucumber are talking about who has it worse and the cucumber says to the diск I think I have it worse because I thrown into vinegar and left out to turn into a pickle and the diск says no I have it worse I get shoved into a dark place and get my head smashed against a wall until I throw up

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Dirty jokes

What do sharpies and diскs have in common? The black one's are used more.

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Dirty jokes

A guy named bob works at a deli. One day he goes to his doctor and says "Doc, I really want to stick my diск in the pickle slicer" The doctors responds with "No dont it will hurt and you will never lose your virginty! "Hey I have had sеx before" And with that he leave's. The next day bob comes back and says "Doc I did it" The doctor says"well are you ok?"
"Im fine but I was fired"
"What about the pickle slicer?" The doctor asks "she was fired to!

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Office and Work Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Dirty jokes Sex Jokes

Two gаy men live together in an apartment and have sеx on a regular basis. One day, one man says he needs to go to the toilet and the other man just says "Okay, don't have a wаnк, we need to save all the сuм for later."
"Okay" The other man says, and he goes into the toilet.
After a bit the other man thinks hes taking a while so he opens the door to see whats going on. When he opens the door he sees сuм all over the wall and he says "I thought I told you not to have a wаnк!?"
The other man says "I didn't.. I just farted."

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Dirty jokes Men jokes Sex Jokes

A mom and her little girl walk in the park and they see two teenagers having sеx in the bushes (liitle girl)Mommy mommy what are the doing (Mom)there just making a cake.
Next Day the go to the zoo and they see two monkeys having sеx (llittle girl) Mommy mommy what are they doing (Mom) there making a cake
That Night she goes into her parents room and wakes them up (little girl) i know you and Daddy were making a cake on the couch today.(Mom) How do you know that (little girl) Because i licked the icing.

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Dirty jokes Sex Jokes

A pregnant woman got shot 3 times and recovered, but the bullets were never found. Later she had triplets, two girls and one boy.
Many years later, the first girl came up to her mom and told about how she peed out a bullet.
The next day the second came up and the mother said,
"Lemme guess, you peed out a bullet too." She was right.
The next day her young boy came up to his mom and says,
"Mom, I'm so ashamed of what just happened" The mother replied, "Aw, honey, it's alright, your sisters peed out a bullet too, it's nothing to be ashamed of."
"No, that's not it" he said. "I was rubbing myself, and I think I shot the dog"

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Jokes about Women Dirty jokes

I was jerking to some роrn the other day when my mom walked in. It was crazy.
I had to rewind to make sure.

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Dirty jokes

I'm not saying shes a sluт,
But I am saying that when she sees ваlls, she goes after them like a hungry hungry hippo.

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Dirty jokes

One sреrм has 37.5MB of DNA information in it. This means a normal еjасulатiоn represents a data transfer of 1587GB in 3 seconds... and you thought 4G was fast.

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Dirty jokes

There was a man and his wife putting a password on their new computer. The man entered 'MYWILLIE'. The woman fell on the floor laughing her head off as the computer said 'Error! Not long enough'.

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Jokes about Women Dirty jokes Men jokes

A guy walks into a bar and sees a man ordering one shot after another, sobbing uncontrollably. He goes over and asks what the matter is. The man says,
"My only son just told me he's gаy and found a boyfriend last night." The guy just says,
"Gee, I'm really sorry to hear that man."
The next day, the guy goes to the same bar, and he sees the same man doing the same thing. Again, he goes over and asks what the matter is. The man responds, "I just found out that my brother has been dating this gаy guy for some time now, and today they got engaged." The guy just says "Gee, I'm really sorry to hear that, man."
The next day, the guy walks into the bar and sees the man drinking his life away. He marches up to the man and says,
"God dаммiт, does anyone in your family like рussy?" The man says,
"Apparently my wife does!"

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Marriage and Family Jokes God Jokes Dirty jokes Men jokes