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Food Jokes

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When Chuck Norris opens a bottle of coke happiness runs away screaming.

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Food Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes

The last time Chuck Norris was hungry, all the dinosaurs suddenly got extinct...

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Food Jokes Animal Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes

The phrase "Just a second" comes from the time it takes for Chuck Norris to heat up a cup of coffee... With his breath.

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Food Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes

I can teach you how to handle a cucumber.

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Food Jokes Dirty jokes

Yo mama so fат she puts insurance on her food.

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Food Jokes Yo Momma Jokes Fat Jokes

Chuck Norris once made an omelette from a Fabergé egg.

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Food Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes

Q:Why don't giraffes like fast food?
A:Because they can't catch it!

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Food Jokes Animal Jokes

Lays сhiрs claims "No one can eat just one".
Wrong.
Chuck Norris ate ONE, laughed then ate a whole bag of Doritos.

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Food Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes

Chuck Norris likes his coffee half and half: half coffee grounds, half wood-grain alcohol.

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Food Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes

Chuck norris can eat chicken tonight tomorow.

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Food Jokes Animal Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes

One cutting edge aquarium saved a lot of money when its owner discovered a means to make the dolphins live forever -- since the dolphins never died, no money needed to be spent on buying new ones.
Extending the dolphins' lives required putting a special mixture into their food; one of the ingredients was baby sea gull meat.
So one day, one of the workers was sent to the beach to find some.
On the way back, baby sea gulls in hand, he had to pass through a forest.
In the middle of the path was a sleeping lion.
He very carefully stepped over it, only to be handcuffed by a policeman.
"Officer," he said,
"What's going on?"
"You're under arrest," said the policeman.
"But why?" he asked.
The policeman replied, "For transporting young gulls across sedate lions for immortal porpoises."

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Office and Work Jokes Money jokes Food Jokes Police Officer Jokes

Why do lions always eat raw meat?
"Because they don't know how to cook."

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Food Jokes Animal Jokes

I accidentally drank a little food colouring last night. I ended up dying inside.

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Food Jokes

How is cat food sold?
Usually purr can!

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Food Jokes Animal Jokes

This black woman was vastly overweight, and I mean MASSIVE and she went to see the doctor about her weight.
She said to him, "Have you got any dieting remedies or anything that can help me loose weight?"
The doctor replies,
"Yes we do, all you need to do is shake your head from left too right, simple eh?!"
She says,
"WOW that's amazing, um... when do I do it?"
The doctor says,
"Next time your ordered food."

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Jokes about Women Men vs Women Jokes Food Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes

Why did the dolphin feel crabby?
Because he ate too many сrавs.

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Food Jokes Animal Jokes

A patient comes to a doctor, who asks him:
- Do you smoke?
- No.
- Do you drink?
- No.
- Do you eat fast food?
- No.
- Don't worry, I'll find something anyways...

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Food Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes

There is no use crying over split milk, unless it's Chuck Norris' milk.

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Food Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes

Why is manna from heaven like horse hay?
Both are food from aloft!

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Food Jokes Animal Jokes Heaven And Hell Jokes

What did the cannibal say when he came home and found his wife chopping up a python and a pygmy?
Oh no, not snake and pygmy pie again!

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Marriage and Family Jokes Food Jokes Animal Jokes Cannibal Jokes