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Food Jokes

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What does an annoying pepper do?
It get's jalapeño face
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A husband and wife are eating soup.
The wife spills soup all over her and says:
"Oh no, I look like a pig"
"Yes and you also have soup all over you!"
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"Waiter, what is this hare doing in my salad?"
"I believe he's eating your lettuce."
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When Chuck Norris bakes cookies for his enemies, he adds his own secret ingredient to make a special taste to it. Its called "defeat".
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Chuck Norris has no freezer. He stares at food and they freeze with fear.
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Chuck Norris can put 13 eggs in a dozen carton.
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How do you keep black youth off the streets?
Put a KFC on the sidewalk
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Chuck norris once ate a rubix cube and pooped it out solved.
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Chuck Norris eats lightning and shiтs out thunder.
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What did the hard boiled egg say to the boiling water?
I can't get a hard-on because I was just layed.
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What do gаy horses eat?
Hay.
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What is the difference between a pizza and a women?
The pizza can be eaten but the women can't!
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Chuck Norris does not eat.
Food understands that the only safe haven from Chuck Norris' fists is inside his own body.
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Chuck Norris was hungry so he went to eat a hotdog.
When he saw it giggled and said:
"What a bad luck! Look what a part of a dog I've to eat!"
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Chuck Norris once ate four 30lb bowling ваlls without chewing.
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Chuck Norris doesn't pick up his food to eat it.
He commands it to enter his mouth.
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When Chuck Norris goes to out to eat, he orders a whole chicken, but he only eats its soul.
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Some people like to eat frogs' legs.
Chuck Norris likes to eat lizard legs.
Hence, snakes.
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Coffee doesn't wake up Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris wakes coffee up.
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Where do pirates buy their parrot food?
Petsmarrrrrrrrt!
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