Good jokes

Most popular in this category

An American businessman comes to a Swiss bank in Zurich with a suitcase, shades and a shifty expression.
“I’d like to deposit some money, please.”
“Excellent, sir. How much would you like to deposit?”
The guy whispers, “Four million.”
The clerk smiles kindly, “No need to whisper, sir. In Switzerland, there’s no shame to being a bit poor.”

0 0

Good jokes

Can you be stood up by a guy in a wheel chair?

0 0

Good jokes

So when did you start working for this company?
The moment they told me I have to pick up my performance or I’m history.

0 0

Good jokes

Legalize mrahi…. Legalize marrrhi…. Legalize рот!

0 0

Good jokes

An optician is training a new shop assistant and gives him the rules. “It’s all about proper behavior, proper way of speaking, Joe.
Putting in the right pauses in your speech is crucial, too. For instance, the customer enquires about a pair of glasses. You say ‘It’s fifty dollars’ and you make a pause.
If the customer looks OK, you continue, ‘for the rims. The lenses are ten dollars” and if the customer still looks fine, you continue, ‘each.’”

0 0

Good jokes

Mr. and Mrs. Blane are going to the theater. They’re waiting at the cashdesk and finally there’s only one couple in front of them. The man says to the cashier, “Tristan and Isolde. Two tickets, please.”
Mr. Blane waits his turn and says to the cashier, “Harlan and m’lovely wife Jennys. Two tickets also, please.”

0 0

Good jokes

I’m a superb multitasker. I’ve no problem wasting time, money and life’s opportunities all at the same time!

0 0

Good jokes

Facebook is much like a fridge. You visit every 10 minutes, even though you know there’s nothing worth it in there.

0 0

Good jokes

Personal financial situation: Just finished rinsing a few paper cups.

0 0

Good jokes

Ah, when it comes to cliffhanger endings, I always say,

0 0

Good jokes

You can’t beat Scottish summer.
Best early August Wednesday afternoon you’ll ever experience.

0 0

Good jokes

Hillary Clinton is visiting a school. In one class, she invites the children to ask her some questions.
Kevin raises his hand and says, “I have three questions, Mrs. Clinton.
1. Did you intimidate the victims of your husband’s lusт?
2. What really went on with the Benghazi attack?
3. How do you defend the list of controversial contributors to the Clinton Foundation?
Suddenly the веll rings for break and the children run about their business. After the break they come back and the Q and A period resumes. Joel raises his hand and says, “I have five questions, Mrs. Clinton.
1. Did you intimidate the victims of your husband’s lusт?
2. What really went on with the Benghazi attack?
3. How do you defend the list of controversial contributors to the Clinton Foundation?
4. Why did the веll go off 20 minutes earlier?
5. Where is Kevin?

0 0

Good jokes

I wonder if Kevin Bacon movies are banned in Muslim countries?

0 0

Good jokes

We spent a month on holiday and it only rained twice! First for ten days, then for nineteen.

0 0

Good jokes

A wife comes home and the husband asks her where she’d been so long.
“At a beauty parlor,” replies the wife. The husband looks at her closely, “Well, it’s the effort that counts.”

0 0

Good jokes

A wife comes home in the morning and tells the husband that she spent the night at her best friend’s. The husband then calls 10 of her best friends and finds out she didn’t spend the night in any of their homes.
A husband comes home in the morning and tells the wife he spent the night at his best friend’s. The wife calls 10 of his best friends and finds out he spent the night at 7 of them while the other 3 swear he’s still sleeping on the couch.

0 0

Good jokes

When does a car stop being a car?
The second it turns into a driveway.

0 0

Good jokes

“Fred, something happened to me yesterday. Something that I wouldn’t wish upon my worst enemy!”
“Oh no, what happened?!”
“I won ten million bucks!!!!!”

0 0

Good jokes

What is a surefire way to make a small fortune in a casino?
You invest a large fortune.

0 0

Good jokes

I hit some low times, but I won’t let that stop me from throwing parties. And we’re not having any box-wine, thank you. It will be a lovely cardbordeaux.

0 0

Good jokes