Kids Jokes

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How a Polish child does his homework? With Grandpa, with Grandma, with Mum, with Dad

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"I told that guy over there that you can beat everybody up here because you do boxing and now he wants to fight you"

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Pony 4 sale Great with kids

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Pretty safe to say he DID see us last night

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What you mean behave?! He is doing a handstand!!

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In this photo we саn see several interesting details: а child distracted by technology, ignoring the danger of the real world. аn alpha male protecting the child against serious injuries. two Jedi...

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A guy is stopped by traffic police. The police officer asks him to open his trunk – and sees 2 penguins sitting inside. The officer is shocked and says to the guy, “Sir, you’ve got to takes those two to the Zoo right away!” The guy agrees and leaves.
The next day – same place, same police officer – he is stopped again. The officer again asks him to open his trunk, and to his confusion, there are the two penguins sitting again, today with swimming hats on their heads. The officer says, “I told you yesterday that you have to take them to the Zoo, didn’t I?!”
“And I did take them to the Zoo, just like you said. And today we’re going swimming.”

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What's always taken before you can get it?
Your picture.

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Fiona asks her daddy, “Dad, can you write with your eyes closed?”
“I believe I could, child, if I tried.”
“Excellent, do you think you would like to try it on my school report?”

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Little Kevin rides his bike and yells at his mummy, “Look mom, I can ride the bike with just one hand!”
He goes by the second time and yells excitedly, “Mom, mom, look no hands at all!”
He comes the third time and proudly hollers, “Look mom, no teeth, either!”

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How does a YouTube star stay cool?
By keeping close to his fans.

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What are theSnake’s last words?
"Oh drat, I bit my tongue!"

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A teacher shows Little Johnny a butterfly and asks, “Well, Johnny, what do we call this butterfly?”
Little Johnny says, “That’s a peacock butterfly.”
“Come on, Johnny, peacock butterflies aren’t green!”
“Well maybe this one isn’t ripe yet?”

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A bird meets a snail and asks, “Where are you going?”
The snail says, “To the cherry tree over there.”
The bird is surprised, “But the cherries aren’t ripe yet!”
The snail shrugs, “Well, and I’m not there yet.”

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What does a snail say when he finds himself on a turtle’s back?
Wheeee!!!

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What do you get when you crossbreed a refrigerator and a guitar?
Some really cool music.

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Little Johnny, why on Earth did you cover your pillow with honey?!
I wanted to have sweet dreams.

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A bunny is hopping across the forest and sees a huge pile of роор. The bunny cautiously approaches, puts its finger in it, sniffs, licks lightly and says, “Aha! That’s dog роор. Lucky I didn’t step in it.”

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"I’m still not sure whether to buy this house. It’s really nice and everything, but I heard it’s haunted."
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"Pishposh. I’ve never seen any ghosts here, and I’ve lived in the neighborhood for 500 years!"

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Little Kenny is about to have a big test and his father says:
“You better study real good boy, ‘cause if you don’t pass that test, you can forget that you’re my son!”
The next day Kenny comes home and his dad asks him how he did in the test.
Kenny looks at him and says, “And who are you, dude?”

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