Life Jokes

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Love helps to кill time. And time helps to кill love.

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Life Jokes

Efficiency is a highly developed form of laziness.

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Life Jokes

Farting is like the frozen song.
In the public: Conceal, don't feel... Don't let them know.
At home: Let it go, let it go... Can't hold it back anymore.

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Life Jokes

If I had a dollar for everytime I had an existential crisis it wouldnt matter because currency is a social construct and life is meaningless.

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Life Jokes

Depression: A period during which we have to get along without the things our grandparents never dreamed of.

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Life Jokes

People who wait 4 hours to reply to my text with "lol" should be shot.

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Life Jokes

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?

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Life Jokes

Want to hear a pizza joke... nah, it's too cheesy. What about a construction joke? Oh never mind, I'm still working on that one. Did you hear the one about the rope? Skip it. Have you heard the one about the guy in the wheelchair? Never mind, it's too lame.

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Office and Work Jokes Life Jokes

If you can't say something nice, say it to your husband... he's not listening anyway.

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Life Jokes

Cake: the answer, no matter the question.

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Life Jokes

Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.

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Life Jokes

Vegetarian: Native American definition for "lousy hunter".

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Life Jokes

Be careful of your thoughts, they may become words at any moment.

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Life Jokes

Sometimes when I reflect back on all the вееr I drink I feel shamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this вееr, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this вееr and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver.

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Office and Work Jokes Life Jokes

Love - is an extreme sympathy that leads to bed.

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Life Jokes

If you can't convince them, confuse them.

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Life Jokes

I just hired a private investigator to find out what I do all day.

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Life Jokes

Do you know what it means to come home to a man who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house.

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Men jokes Life Jokes

If mummies are from egypt, then where are daddies from?

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Life Jokes

My wife had me take out more life insurance and now there's no grip left on the bath mat. Weird.

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Life Jokes