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Life Jokes

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Not to brag, but my antics at work resulted in several items being added to the employee manual.
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Office and Work Jokes Life Jokes
All those years of getting horrible elementary school pictures was just society's way of preparing you for your driver's license photo.
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School Jokes Life Jokes
When you try to prove to someone that something doesn't work, it will.
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Office and Work Jokes Life Jokes
For every action, there is a corresponding over-reaction.
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Life Jokes
You need to carry women in your arms; they will climb on your back by themselves.
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Jokes about Women Life Jokes
The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
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Life Jokes
Продавам парашут. Ползван веднъж, не е отварян. Леко изцапан! Inserzione giornalistica: Vendesi paracadute. Usato una sola volta. Mai aperto. Piccola macchia. Eladnék egy feleslegessé vált, egyszer használt, még bontatlan ejtőernyőt, kis hibával. I'm selling a parachute - just as new, used only one time, didn't open once. #### Parachute For Sale #### One parachute for sale. Only ever used once, never opened, has some red stains. From a Toledo Ohio Craigslist: For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain. Prodám padák, jednou použitý, nikdy neotevřený. Zn.: S malou skvrnou. Uåpnet Fallskjerm Selges. Kun brukt en gang.
For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened.
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Life Jokes
Talk is cheap. Until you hire a lawyer.
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Lawyer Jokes Life Jokes
Time does'nt exist. Clocks exists.
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Life Jokes
True friendship comes when the silence between two people is comfortable.
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Friendship Jokes Life Jokes
The hardness of butter is directly proportional to the softness of the bread.
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Life Jokes
I wasn't lying, I was just writing fiction with my mouth.
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Life Jokes
We have all heard that a million monkeys ваnging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.
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Office and Work Jokes Internet Jokes Life Jokes
To err is human, to blame it on somebody else shows management potential.
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Life Jokes
Why are Scientology and Proctology alike? It's all a load of shiт.
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Life Jokes
It takes two to lie... One to lie and one to listen...
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Life Jokes
When my friends are sad, i send them a long аss paragraph, but when I'm sad, they only say "Oh sorry" or "Well that suскs".
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Friendship Jokes Life Jokes
Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
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Life Jokes
‘Who the hеll allowed me to be born in this sтuрid head?' a Thought said and killed herself…
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Life Jokes
There are no winners in life ... Only survivors.
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Life Jokes
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