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Men jokes

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A man was telling me how he has bad luck so i said to him listen buddy my luck is so bad it could be raining тiттiеs and i would be hit in the face by a diск.
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Men jokes
How do you make a match against Man U interesting?
Give them a two goal start.
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Sports Jokes Men jokes
An 85-year-old widow went on a blind date with a 90-year-old man.
When she returned to her daughter's house later that night, she seemed upset.
"What happened, Mother?" the daughter asked.
"I had to slap his face three times!"
"You mean he got fresh?"
"No," she answered. "I thought he was dead!"
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Men jokes Old People Jokes
An Emergency Room resident intern began his examination of an elderly man by asking, “What brought you to the hospital?”
The old man replied, “An ambulance.”
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Men jokes Old People Jokes
A тrамр walks into a jewellry store and has a look around, after looking for a few minutes the тrамр suddenly pulls his trousers down and starts shoving his finger up his аss. The man behind the counter looks shocked and says:
“What do you think you’re doing!”, The тrамр looks back at him and points towards the sign on the wall: ‘Pick your ring in comfort’
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Men jokes Masturbation jokes
Old man walks up and says,
"For sixty years I've been trying to figure out why we vote in November. Finally found the answer this year."
"Why's that?"
"Better selection of turkeys!"
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Men jokes Political Jokes
There once was a man who went on a job interview. His resume was very impressive, and the interviewer was ready to hire the man. There was one problem.
“There is a period of five years missing from your resume. What were you doing then?" the interviewer asked. The man replied, “Oh... I was in Yale" (jail)
The interviewer was quite impressed. “That’s excellent! You're hired!"
The man exclaimed, “Yippee... I got the ‘yob’!" (job)
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Men jokes
“Please keep your dog beside you, sir,” a woman said crossly to the man sitting opposite to her on the bench at the park. “I can feel a flea in my shoe.” “Midnight, come here,” replied the man. “This woman has fleas.”
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Jokes about Women Animal Jokes Men jokes
When a male squirrel saw a female squirrel he said:
"I can offer you, DEEZ NUTS!"
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Jokes about Women Animal Jokes Men jokes
A jet ran into some turbulent weather. To keep the passengers calm the flight attendants brought out the beverage carts. “I’d like a soda,” said a passenger in the first row. Moving along, the attendant asked the man behind her if he would like something. “Yes, I would,” he replied. “Give me whatever the pilot is drinking!”
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Men jokes Aviation Jokes
A Lady on a commuter train is reading a newspaper article about life and death statistics. Fascinated, she turns to the man next to her and asks, “Did you know that every time I breathe somebody dies?”
“Really?” he says. “Have you tried a good mouthwash?”
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Men jokes
A Scotsman is sitting in a bar in Cuba and is minding his business when a man with a large black beard walks in.
The man goes to the bar and orders a shot of whisky. The bartender serves him, the man drinks the whisky then starts walking out the door.
The bartender says, “Hey aren’t you going to pay for that?”
The man says, “Excuse me, Castro’s Army.”
The bartender says, “Alright then” and the man leaves.
A few minutes later another man with a large black beard walks in.
The man goes to the bar and orders a shot of whisky. The bartender serves him, the man drinks the whisky then starts walking out the door.
The bartender says, “Hey aren’t you going to pay for that?”
The man says, “Excuse me, Castro’s Army.” The bartender says “Alright then” and the man leaves.
The Scotsman gets an idea and walks up to the bar and orders a shot of whisky. He drinks the whisky then starts walking out the door.
The bartender says, “Hey aren’t you going to pay for that?”
The Scotsman says, “Excuse me, Castro’s Army.”
The bartender says, “Hey where is your big black beard?”
The Scotsman thinks quickly. He lifts his Kilt and says, “Secret Service!
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Men jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes
Waking into the lingerie store, the hard-of-hearing customer says to the clerk, “I’d like to buy a pair of stockings for my wife.
The clerk says, “Sheer?”
And the man replies “No. She is in another store.”
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Men jokes
A man driving by an insane asylum got a flat in his front right tire. He took off his tire and put the lug nuts in the wheel cover. As he rose he accidentally kicked the wheel cover and all the lug nuts went into a deep ditch. Looking in disgust he noticed an inmate at the asylum watching him through a chain link fence.
The man shouted out, "Why don't you take a lug nut from the other three wheels and use them to replace the lug nuts you lost?"
The driver said,
"That's a great idea!"
The man replied, " Well I may be crazy, but I am not sтuрid."
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Men jokes
A man taking a woman home after their first date asks if he can come inside of a cup of coffee. “Oh, no,” she says, “I never ask a guy in on the first date.”
“Okay,” the man replies, “how about the last date?”
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Jokes about Women Men jokes
The nuns had been getting very restless in the convent, and the Mother Superior called a meeting to ask what was wrong. …
One of the young novices said boldly, “What we need are some men around here!”
…
Needless to say, the Mother Superior was shocked.
…
Another nun added, “It’s only human nature.”
The Mother Superior thought for a moment, then said,”Alright, sisters, I’ll issue extra candles. You can comfort yourselves with them.”
“No, no,” The nuns cried, “We’ve already tried those.”
…
The mother Superior was indignant. “They were good enough for me when I was young.” …
…
“You don’t understand,” said the outspoken nun, “We get tired of the same thing, wick in and wick out.”
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Religion jokes Men jokes
A man goes into a library and asks for a book on pick-up lines.
The librarian replies, “It’s in my house, if you want to come over and collect it.”
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Men jokes
A man sitting at a bar claiming to be the world's strongest man, squeezed every drop of juice from a lemon. Then said,
"Whoever can squeeze another drop from this lemon will be the world's strongest and will have earned $100." Just about every man at the bar tried without luck, then a skinny, wimpy looking guy walks up and squeezes three more drops from the lemon. The strong man asked,
"How did you do that?" the little man replied, "I am an IRS agent" as he walked out.
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Men jokes
Real life lеsвiаns: ruining men’s sеxuаl fantasies since the dawn of time
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Men jokes Gay and Lesbian Jokes
Man : Are your parents still together?
Guy :
'No' man : When did they split up?
Guy :
'last night' man :
'Oh so I banged her before the divorce ... sorry'
Two weeks later it was the mans funeral
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Dirty jokes Men jokes
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