Military Jokes

Most popular in this category

Commander:
"Fire a warning shot"
Soldier:
"Sir, this is a M32 grenade launcher"
Commander:
"Potato, potato, just fire"
Soldier: fires M32 grenade launcher near a pre-school
Commander:
“They’re trying to run, TAKE THEM DOWN!”

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Military Jokes

In normal country they have lemonade in soviet russia they have Leninade “refresh yourself with a cold war.”

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Military Jokes

How did Нiтlеr tie is tiny little shoesies?
With tiny little Nazis.

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Military Jokes

I’m telling my kids that in 2020 I survived world war 3, the zombie apocalypse, the invasion of the мurdеr hornets, and the second American revolution

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Military Jokes

I popped some fireworks and told my Vietnam grandfather that world war 3 started

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Military Jokes

A war isn’t about who is right, it’s about who is left!

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Military Jokes

A hired gun gets on a private plane to his next contract. Halfway through the trip, he notices the plane rapidly losing altitude. So he opens that back of the plane and starts tossing out everything he doesn’t need. Grenades, guns, ammo unless it was bolted down it went out. He stopped throwing things out when the plane started to regain altitude.
When the plane lands, he sees some kids giggling on the side of the road. “What’s so funny?”, he asks.
“Daddy farted and the house blew up,” said a singed little boy.

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Military Jokes

Things you never want to do in jail

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Military Jokes Police Officer Jokes

Voting quarterfinal 3:
LIKE: When the school shooter throws a smoke grenade into the classroom and the autistic kid thinks it’s a Disco party. 🕺🕺🕺
DISLIKE: When the school shooter gets killed and everyone is cheering but you walk toward his gun; “I will finish what you started.”
Vote for the better joke

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Military Jokes

What is it called when Bill Cosby and a illegal immigrant fight?
Aliens vs. Predator

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Military Jokes

My girlfriend dumped me today apparently I don’t stand up for her in fights I don’t care she use to push me around all the time

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Military Jokes

My doctor said “you have 1year to live”
I said " you wanna bet"
Bam a gun shot

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Military Jokes

I don’t like the word gun
Whenever I say it people always get triggered

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Military Jokes

“Sanderson, fire a warning shot.”
“Uhh sir, this is an M32 rotary grenade launcher.”
“Ah potato-potato, just pull the trigger.”

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Military Jokes

I shot a man with a paintball gun just to watch him dye.

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Military Jokes

Just heard on the radio that apparently Colonel Sanders got the idea for KFC during WWI when he was raiding a German chicken farm using a flame thrower.

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Food Jokes Military Jokes

A flight attendant for a major airline, watched one day as a passenger overloaded with bags tried to stuff his belongings in the overhead bin of the plane.
Finally, she informed him that he would have to check the over-sized luggage. "When I fly other airlines," he said irritably, "I don't have this problem."
The flight attendant smiled, "When you fly other airlines, I don't have this problem either."

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Aviation Jokes Military Jokes

Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

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Military Jokes

Do you have 11 protons? Cause your sodium fine.

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Military Jokes

A 'Jim's Dozen' is 11, because I take one for myself.

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Military Jokes